don't save it all for Christmas Day

[chestnutcurls]

I get to leave at 1 today! Yay!

Last night my dad called to give me the rundown of tomorrow's plans, and now I feel much more Christmasy. I'm excited about spending some time with my family (and Bun). I think I wasn't in the spirit because Evan is gone, but we've never spent a Christmas together, so that doesn't really make sense. Today is the halfway mark of our separation. This morning on TV I saw a woman whose soldier husband was home for the holidays; she hadn't seen him in three months. I felt convicted about missing Evan so much when he is safe, well-fed, and coming home soon.

I am reading Susan Hunt's The True Woman, and it's kicking my butt. From the first page I have felt sinful and pathetic. I am so indoctrinated into our feminist culture and I don't even know it. I am selfish and unhelpful. Yet the thought of living in total servitude, shunning all pleasure and happiness, depresses me. I am so worthless. Thank God that a Savior was born to pay for my worthlessness. Maybe in time I will get better.

Anyway, to end on a happy note, I hope all of you have wonderful, merry Christmases! :)

Comments

[nikichick4.livejournal.com]

You're so lucky you can leave at 1!!

I hope you have a Merry Christmas! :-)

[calypsobard.livejournal.com]

I think it's still Ok for you to miss Evan because you love him and he's gone on what is suppsed to be the best time of the year. There is nothing wrong with thinking of yourself sometimes :) And that's speaking as a daughter whose father was gone for Christmas during the first war with Iraq.

But it's good to remember that there are people all over the country with loved ones away serviing all over the world. Say a prayer, light a candle.

[helenangel.livejournal.com]

You feel worthless? WHAT in the world? Brenda, you are one of the best people I know! And God did not create women to be servants- and Jesus even spoke about that. Personally, I take His Word over the interpretation of any random chick. The True Woman, indeed. But I won't bash your book. I will say that your goodness shines through in everything you do and by FAR you are one of the most godly minded people I know. Just your presence encourages me to live a better life and you've never once preached anything to me. The fact that your very life is an inspiration is a strong testiment to the goodness you possess. Don't let some random book make you forget what a precious gem you are and how much you have done for Him and in His Service. You have done so much (I know for me, and I'm sure for others) and if there ever was a True Woman, it is you. You are ANYTHING BUT sinful, pathetic, unhelpful, and selfish. In fact, you are the antithesis of those things. Sure, everyone has their moments but yours are much less than most other peoples'.

Jesus didn't die a brutal death on the cross for us to live of a life of unhappiness and servitude. He died so we could live in freedom. He preached incessantly about equality and breaking down the barriers of the status quo. He didn't die so that we would force ourselves into the molds of modern-day pharisees.

-hugs- I adore you, Brens. You are wonderful and everyone can see how incredibly worthFUL you are. :)

[moredetails.livejournal.com]

You don't have to feel convicted about missing Evan (I'm sure he appreciates it very much!). I think God was just helping to cheer you up because you get to see him very soon and live nearby him on a regular basis! :) "Merry Christmas, Brenda," said God.

Also, I don't think God intends for us to shun all pleasure and happiness. In fact, I know that's not the case. One of the craziest parts of Christianity is that when we decide to just obey God, we discover how pleasurable and happy it really is! He didn't just come up with a plan that would be challenging so you'd hate life on earth.. He came up with a plan that would be the most fullfilling to you and others while on earth. Serving others brings a lot of joy, and you don't need to think that you are a stranger to this. You don't realize how much you, Brenda, serve people all day long and get a lot of joy out of it.. in making time for friends, praying for them, working without undermining authority, giving presents, cleaning for others, being hospitable, etc. We all have room to grow in how (much) we serve (I almost typed 'swerve'), and I know I certainly am not doing enough, but don't be afraid of incorporating more into your life. :) I think it is enjoyable once we get past the resistance. It's like taking icky medicine, or something.. it really makes us feel better if we just give it a minute!

I amuse myself when I give advice that I have trouble taking myself. :)

[canticles.livejournal.com]

What she said!!!!

No seriously... I don't think you realize how much you minister to people. Your entries cause me to look at myself from a different perspective and I have been convicted of my poor attitude more than once!

Also, I don't know anything about this Susan Hunt person or what her book says. I'm interested in checking it out just for my own knowledge... But I don't think God wants you to view yourself as "worthless." Yes we have the sin nature and yes we were poor, wretched, naked and blind. But if we were deemed "worthless" in His eyes, why would he send a Savior to redeem us. I think "worthless" is an extreme view that I would think twice about.

I know also that you may not have been able to communicate all you were really thinking, so I'm just responding from my initial gut reaction. We loves the Brens!

[skybri.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with helenangel. I'd also like to add to be careful that you take in what any book says to the degree that it applies to you. Same with the bible. It all applies to our lives, and we all need to be concerned about pleasing God. But not all of us are prostitutes or idol worshipers (in an Old Testament sense). So since you know what areas you struggle with, focus more on improving what applies more to you. Also, life is meant to be a learning process of letting God transform us, so there will be times we'll all stumble in our journey, but by all means, don't let your shortcomings depress you into nothingness. The whole bible is meant to strongly convict the sinner who continues to delight in sin, not to tear down the righteous who have turned their lives around to follow Christ through faith. To Christians, it is a reminder of where we came from and what we are striving for. Be reminded that Jesus's sacrifice allows our forgiveness.

Dead Horse Blues

[thetenthshadow.livejournal.com]

Ok, I'm getting in on this.

Dear Brenda - you are such a cheerful person, such a charming and outgoing gal, and you have such a wonderful sense of humor. What in the name of thy God maketh you think that you're WORTHLESS?
The biggest crime of our society is that we socially oppress women in our culture. We dictate terms of how they must look, feel act, think, etc. We do something as bad as the burka gig in the Middle East; except we don't pull down a burka over your face - we pull one over your consciousness.
Conversely, though, it is NOT for that woman or that book to tell you how to feel and how to behave. It's bullshit. Travel the road that makes YOU happy, Brenda, and pardon my french here, fuck anyone who tells you to be anything other than you. Wear what you will, think what you will, do what you will. Ignore that book - it's just another media outlet trying to dictate terms to you on how to act and behave and think, and frankly, none of us have any problem with that. You're a good person and you do good things, and you're a credit to your faith. You are far, far, far from worthless, and I passionately oppose the very notion that you are.
Forget media. Forget books and movies and music. Be an experience whole and complete unto yourself. go with the grace of God. :)

C.T.

[starloft.livejournal.com]

Merry Christmas, Brenda!

[jazzypoet.livejournal.com]

Merry Christmas, Brenda! God bless! :)

- kimma