The Beauty and the Mess

Last week after Sunday School, a few of the girls and I were discussing the insanity of our society's work habits. One of my friends just had her annual evaluation, and was told that the only reason she didn't get a raise was because she didn't work enough overtime. As much as I wish that wasn't the standard, I know better. My friend flat-out told her boss that she has a husband and a life, and that if those things are keeping her from making more money, she will get by just fine on what she has. I'm so proud of her for saying that.

The whole conversation got me thinking about American vs. European work and vacation habits. I did a little research and found this article. It confirmed my thoughts and said everything I wanted to say, so I've pasted it below for your reading convenience. :) ( Work Week and Vacation Variances )

Maybe I should move to Europe. Or maybe I only find our society's obsession with career so annoying because I'm a woman. I know some women do well in the business world, but I personally am not made for this. Maybe men can take it all with a grain of salt. Thoughts?

Dear Person Who Stole the Leftover McAlister's Salad I Was Going To Eat For Lunch:

Vengeance is the Lord's. :P

Merry Christmas,
Brenda

Today was a momentous day for my journal - I have been added by the famous amandagrace, as well as the friendly glori and schip2mylou, whom I don't know much about but who seems like fun. I'm suspicious. Did someone make a post promoting me or something? :) I feel loved. Anyway, this is the first time today I've even been able to think about posting, so please be patient with me, all. I've had one project after another all day, as well as various frantic phone calls about various wedding things. Thursday seems to be a consistently rough day for me lately. At least I get to end it by going to Bible study, seeing friends, and having a free tasty dinner (tonight, pizza). Our movie series continues. Tonight we're discussing Bruce Almighty. It's cool taking lessons from movie clips, but it's also frustrating because then I want to watch the whole thing.

Stacy came to our weekly lunch today, and it was fun having her there. We missed Helen, though - or, as she's apparently known around our office, "that weird girl who used to work here." :)

I like my new cubicle on the corner of the row, but it can be annoying at the end of the day, when people tend to have really loud, shrieky conversations right outside it. I should get some headphones.

Fall weather has finally arrived. We haven't seen the sun in a week, but at least it's appropriately cool outside. Now I have nothing to wear, and I'm afraid to take my winter clothes out, lest it all be a trick and I need summer clothes again. It might be a good idea to just wait until after the honeymoon, since I'll need those warm-weather clothes for Jamaica anyway. :) In the midst of all this I keep forgetting about the Jamaica thing - like wait, I get to have a vacation when all this is over? Imagine.

Happy birthday, alissamarie! I hope this next year is wonderful for you.

Well, this weekend was one of the busiest and most productive I've had in a while. On Friday night Evan and I painted the kitchen. It took several hours because there was so much to mask off - cabinets, two chair rails, two doors - but it was totally worth the effort. My kitchen is now sage green (C19 in Wal-Mart paint) and actually looks clean for the first time ever. It helps when everything isn't white. The rest of the home improvement came yesterday, when we brought in my parents' couch, a queen size four-post bed, a tall oak shelf unit that goes in the corner, and Evan's computer desk. The guys moved everything while I tried to stay out of the way. My dad seemed to have a hard time, which worried me - I'll try to deter him from moving any more of our stuff. :\ After my dad and brother left, Evan and I rearranged my room and the guest room/office. My room looks completely different and I had trouble sleeping last night because the bed is so huge. The apartment definitely seems more like our apartment now. It makes me even more anxious to be married. Today is 35 days. I can't believe it. Anyway, I plan to take pictures and post Before and Afters, using the pictures I took right before Kathy moved out, for those of you who like that kind of thing. :)

Oh, and Gandalf is obsessed with the new bed. He spent all of last night napping at the end of it, and wouldn't move even when we came over and harassed him. He just glared at us and went back to sleep. It was hilarious.

Saturday night was my lingerie shower, thrown by Myla. It was the best party ever! She thought of everything. First of all, the food was amazing. Myla made good use of her Martha Stewart cookbook - we had stuffed mushrooms, stuffed cherry tomatoes with mozzarella and basil, heart-shaped cucumber sandwiches, Bananas Foster tartlets, a cake with fudge and cherries...it was unbelievable. We played really fun games and I got prizes! And everyone got me the cutest nighties. I felt very special and spoiled. :) She made the coolest party favors for everyone, including copies of the mix CD that was playing during the shower. The last track is a recording of the song she and Luke are singing at the wedding. I was so excited to have that! It was a much smaller party than we'd anticipated, since several people didn't bother telling us they weren't coming, but everyone got along well and had a good time. I'm a very blessed girl.

I might not be around much for a few days. Our new co-worker is here and I'm going to be training her. She doesn't have a computer yet, which means she'll be sitting in here with me, watching me work, until she gets one. Right now she's at orientation or something. She seems nice. I've never trained anyone before, so I hope I don't make a total mess of things.

Layout question: does anyone know how to take the page transitions out of an S1 layout? I copied my new layout from Jo (who has been cool and helpful as always) and am tweaking it. The transitions bother me, though. Please share your knowledge, layout wizards. :)

I am SO busy this week. It's nice, but I wish I had more time to write about things that have been going on. So here are the three main items of the day.

- Tomorrow I'm moving to a new cubicle. It feels like a big change, even though it's a whole ten feet away. On Monday our new hire is starting, and she'll take over this cubicle. It seems appropriate - this is the space for new people. After three years, I will no longer be the youngest and newest person in our department. Part of me feels like my edge will be gone, but I'm starting to like the idea of being an older person around here. I have a good feeling about things at work.

- Some of you may remember our friends Ashley and Kathryn, who got married in March (Ashley is a guy), giving us a queen-sized mattress set a couple of months ago. This was a huge blessing...we all know mattresses aren't cheap. It's still in their garage, because Evan had to build the bed frame before we could take it. With everything going on he hasn't had time, and I was getting tense. My mom had suggested I look for a bed in the want ads, but I never got around to it. Well, yesterday Ashley called me at work and said, "Hey, my boss is giving away a cherry four-post queen bed. Are you interested?" :D So he took the bed to his house, and on Sunday my dad is taking a trailer over and picking up the whole ensemble...in addition to my parents' couch! My parents ordered new furniture, and they decided to just go ahead and give us their old, nice couch while we were moving things. I'll have a couch! People can come over and have somewhere to sit! SO exciting. Also, I may paint the kitchen on Saturday. This weekend will be a huge step toward the New Married People Apartment.

- Last week at church band practice, I could tell as soon as I started playing that something was wrong with my flute. My friend and I examined it and noticed that the key pads are completely worn down. My flute hasn't been serviced since my senior year of high school, so I shouldn't have been surprised. Repadding usually runs about $200. My friend took me to talk with our director after practice, and he said he'd see if there was anything he could do. A little while ago, he called and said that the church has money set aside and usually contributes $50 toward repairs. That was helpful enough, but then he told me that someone had made an anonymous contribution to the music ministry, and he felt that part of that money could pay the remainder of my repair costs. So I'm taking the flute to the music store tonight!

Does God provide or what? He is so good to little undeserving me. It's amazing.

Work has been insane this week. It's good to be busy, but sheesh. If I disappear from LJ for days in the near future, don't be concerned. I'm probably just whirling around in a tornado of folders, staples, and database reports.

A lot is on my mind lately. I want to talk about it but can't seem to find the right words. Mostly, I'm overwhelmed with disgust at the way I'm never totally content. God provides for all my needs. I have such a happy life, yet, like Ariel, I want mooooore. I feel dissatisfied with my work, my stuff, my attitude, my status in life. Then people help me out and I feel horribly guilty, because I don't deserve it. I can't believe how selfish and whiny I am sometimes. Evan is wonderful because he not only loves me in spite of all this, but he also shares in my occasional worthless feelings. He joked that they're the emotions of a good Presbyterian. I told him "good Presbyterian" was an oxymoron. :) I love that we talk about that kind of stuff. Anyway, some people don't love me in spite of my annoyingness, and that upsets me and leads to all sorts of other worthless feelings. Please, please don't comment to say that I'm not annoying, because that will only make me feel worse. I'm just sharing.

We got some wedding cake samples from the lady at the country club. One of them was out of this world. It's vanilla with strawberries, which is (similar to) what we requested. The decision on that one was unanimous. Evan wasn't as thrilled with his chocolate cake, but that's because it had a layer of lemon cake, and the combination tasted funny. I'll just ask her to leave the lemon out. Anyway, she said the design I wanted shouldn't be a problem. Yay!

I'm going to Nashville this weekend to see Debra, but I'm not leaving until tomorrow morning. Once I left right after work on Friday, by myself, and by the time I got there I was too exhausted to do anything. Lonely three-hour drives are better in the daytime. I need to load up on good tunes to keep myself occupied.

( Survey from Jessica. )

Happy birthday, Maria! I hope it's been a good day!

For the first time in months, I did some scrapbooking last night. I've really been in the mood to create something, so it felt good to cut and paste. :) I worked on my book of me and Evan from meeting to engagement. If I finish it by the wedding, maybe we can display it on a table at the reception! I'd like to get more done on it tonight, but that's not going to happen. We're having our first pre-marital counseling session. I'm looking forward to it and am curious about what we're going to do. Robert said to bring our Bibles, which is a good sign. :)

Changes are coming closer at work. The managers are still interviewing for the two extra coordinator positions. We decided this morning how everyone will be arranged, office-space wise. I'm going to move two cubicles down to be closer to one of my bosses, since it looks like I won't be working for the other one once the new people come (right now I support two people). No one has told me anything for sure, but that's what I suspected anyway. It'll be weird to be in a new cubicle, but after three years, a change of scenery might be nice. I'm just afraid I won't be busy enough once my workload is cut in half. I hate to sit around looking bored (I say as I type an LJ entry).

Bad censorship: One of our radio stations that plays Avril Lavigne's song "My Happy Ending" edits the language so that one of the lines says, "All the fish that you do." It cracks me up. That's like when they edit action movies on TV so that the characters say totally nonsensical things, like "I'm gonna kick your pie."

( What color am I? )

Today is not going well at all. I started the day with a voicemail from a girl I've mentioned in passing before. She was in RUF with me for years, and I can't even begin to describe her, except that she's destructive and melodramatic, yet thinks everyone loves her. Last night at Bible study, I was talking about bridesmaid stuff with Alli, and this girl got quiet. When I got to work, she had left me a message saying that she was hurt that Alli was in the wedding and not her, because she and I are "so much closer". She said she felt she deserved an explanation or an apology! ?!?!!! The audacity. I was speechless. All I could do was let out a squeak that made my co-workers ask what was wrong. I still haven't responded. I'm tempted to ignore her completely and let her draw her own conclusions. Good grief.

Later, my mom called to suggest that we have the invitations printed at Kinko's tomorrow. I was completely relieved at the thought of not having to print them all myself, but when I went there to get a quote, they told me they can't do wedding invitations that aren't the size of a piece of paper. ??? When was the last time one of you got an 8.5" x 11" wedding invitation? Anyway, I went down the street to a real printer and got a quote from them. It's definitely more expensive than doing it myself, but my parents are going to discuss it. The lady said if I drop them off Monday, I'll have them on Friday. Then I can spent Friday night and Saturday addressing envelopes by myself, and mail them before going to Robin's wedding, which will be eight weeks from our wedding, still. But it's definitely not ideal. I am so, so mad at myself. I must be the stupidest bride in the world. How did I think I was going to print 160 invitations myself? And I might still be doing that. Why didn't I plan for this sooner? I'm sick and tired of worrying about wedding etiquette and what everyone is going to think or say. If people want to judge me based on the quality of my wedding stuff, that's their problem. There are MUCH more important things in the world, and I'd really like to get back to thinking about those things, instead of wasting two hours worrying about the appropriateness of return address labels. No wonder I feel so small-minded lately.

Meanwhile, at work, we're proofing things for the new database system. Proofing is awful. I have done ten items so far and I already want to tear my hair out. There's a bridal shower for my friend Cortney this afternoon, so that should brighten things up. Except that just now, someone asked me whether I had booked the right conference room, and I thought I hadn't and almost started crying. Thankfully, it was okay. Nice to know I did something right today. :P

If you read all that, you get a gold star. I'm sorry for being such a whiner. I do feel better now, though.

The good thing about business meetings is that when they're over, you really appreciate having a whole day to get things done. It's much more relaxing. I need relaxation, because things keep getting me down today. Some are serious and some are stupid:

- Kathy called last night to tell me that the lady who does all her sewing (and altered my dress for MaryElaine's wedding) died suddenly on Wednesday of a massive heart attack. She was in her early fifties and in great health. This is the second such death I've heard of in the last month or so, and it makes me really nervous. It's shocking to be reminded that you are not too young to lose your parents. :(
- My department is hiring two more coordinators. Since the job posted, I've had several people come over and ask me if I'm leaving. :P With the new people, there will be equal numbers of coordinators and managers, which probably means that I won't be working for one of my bosses anymore. Will I be assigned? Will I have to choose? I don't know which is worse. I'm finally busy, comfortable, and content in my job, and I don't like this at all.
- Wedding planning is driving me crazy. The main goal of this month is to send the invitations, but that requires setting the menu for the reception. I have to figure out the whole flower situation (and probably make a million fake arrangements). I have to finish organizing the wedding slide show and burn it onto a CD for Kathy's mom. I have to figure out how we're going to get rid of all our excess furniture. Oh, and also, Hurricane Ivan is about to tear up our honeymoon location.
- I'm very worried about my Floridian friends and family.
- I'm in such bad shape. Evan and I ran a little on Wednesday night, and then I walked last night even though I was sore. Today my legs hurt. A Lot.
- I just heard that there's a free Tigers party tonight at Newby's and they're giving away 50 pairs of season tickets. Then Jump Little Children is giving a concert! But I'm already committed to going to another party tonight, and I have to go alone because Evan is working late. Also, I'm not going to the game tomorrow - I'm going with Ryan, Luke, and Myla to Goat Days. Don't get me wrong, I'm really pumped about Goat Days (there will be pictures later to help explain why), but I'm sad about missing the game. I feel like so much is going on this fall, and I'm totally missing it.

To make up for all this whining, here are two good things:
- Sunday is Evan's and my anniversary. One year ago, he unexpectedly held my hand on the couch, and in 79 days he'll be holding my hand at the altar. :)
- God is in control. All the time.

Hola. My work meetings yesterday went okay. Our new database is really cool and will make my job a lot easier. Our department has been using a DOS database for fifteen years. The new one is a Windows database with a lot of our usual data entry already plugged in. For example, I won't have to memorize codes anymore! Today we're doing more hands-on stuff, and it should be less dull. I just hope they let us eat lunch. Yesterday we weren't allowed to eat until the Beverly Hills people did, which was at 1:45 our time. Gotta love that West Coast bias. :P

I've rediscovered my love of Crystal Lewis. In late high school and early college, she was one of my favorite singers. I kind of burned out on her stuff, though. The other day, Danielle sent out a call for one of her songs, and I dug out the Remember CD, which I had left at my parents'. It seems better than it did before. I have a lot of experiences like that, which is why I rarely get rid of CDs even if I haven't listened to them in a while.

Speaking of music, I know some of you are fans of Jamie Cullum and/or Keane. You'll want to know that they're airing a concert of theirs on VH1 later in the month. How did I hear this, you ask? On VH1. Yes, people, after three years in an apartment with three channels, I have cable...and it turns out I've had it the whole time. Evan was at the apartment on Tuesday, washing his car, when the cable guy came by to unhook the cable of neighbors who just moved out. He and Evan struck up a conversation. The guy observed that there was no tag on my apartment's connection, which indicated that a former resident had probably paid off the cable guy at some point. Apparently, when that happens, they're not allowed to unplug it because they're not sure where it goes. They rarely get around to sending an electrician to figure it out. As soon as he was gone, Evan went upstairs, found a cable cord, and hooked up the TV...and there were all the channels! So for the time being, I have cable. I just hope it lasts through the election so I can watch The Daily Show. Woo hoo!

I had an awful nightmare right before I woke up this morning. It was so awful that I simultaneously want to talk about it and can't even think about it. The worst part was that I woke up from it and found it was time to get up. So I wasn't able to go back to sleep and forget about it. That's the worst.

( What kind of bride will I be? ) 80 DAYS TODAY!