I vant to pump YOU up
Aug. 22nd, 2002 02:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chestnutcurlsI have actually been busy today! We also had a department lunch at Houston's, which was fun and helped to kill some time. :)
I don't think I have mentioned that Kathy and I have started exercising. I like to take walks, but I've had to stop because it's way too hot. Around the time I quit walking, Kathy decided she wanted to lose some weight (she weighs about 10 pounds, so I don't know where she's going to lose it from), and we should start doing the exercise tapes that we used to do when we were in school. I couldn't find the one we used to do (a Cosmopolitan aerobic workout with an evil instructor named LouAnne), so we've been doing a dance tape. However, it hasn't taken us long to get sick of it. So last night I pulled out a 29-Minute Workout that my mom got in the '80s. And boy, is it funny. Everyone on the tape is wearing those horrible '80s spandex catsuits with the underwear-looking things over them. (It reminds me of the Great Shape Barbie I used to have.) But once we got past the outfits and the Miami Vice-esque music, it's actually a pretty good workout. We felt very Hans-and-Franz when we were done. :)
I like exercise because it makes me more thankful for my health. I am glad I can move and wave my arms and chasse and annoy my first-floor neighbor. :) I love dancing. I was in ballet for six years, but I dropped out because I couldn't do a split and thus could not move on to the next level. I have no flexibility in that behind-the-knee area. At the end of our ballet video, there's a stretch where you're sitting on the floor, and you're supposed to lean forward and grab your ankle. Kathy and I can barely grab our knees. It's pretty sad. :)
Here's something really funny I saw at Amy's blog. I can attest from experience that these classes are needed (especially Topics 7 and 10), but please don't be offended, guys. :)
New courses for men at night school
Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.
Topic 1 - How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays.
- Step by step, with slide presentation.
Topic 2- The Toilet Paper Roll: Do They Grow On the Holders?
- Round table discussion.
Topic 3 - Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat Up and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
- Group practice.
Topic 4 - Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
- Pictures and explanatory graphics.
Topic 5 - The After-Dinner Dishes and Silverware: Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
- Examples on video.
Topic 6 - Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote to Your Wife.
- Helpline support and support groups.
Topic 7 - Learning How to Find Things, Starting with Looking In the Right Place Instead of Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
- Open forum.
Topic 8 - Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful to Your Health.
- Graphics and audio tape.
Topic 9 - Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost.
- Real life testimonials.
Topic 10 - Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly As She Parallel Parks?
- Driving simulation.
Topic 11 - Learning to Live: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
- On-line class and role playing.
Topic 12 - How to Be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
- Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic 13 - Fighting Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries, and Other Important Dates, and Calling When You're Going to Be Late.
- Cerebral Shock Therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
NOTE: Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
I don't think I have mentioned that Kathy and I have started exercising. I like to take walks, but I've had to stop because it's way too hot. Around the time I quit walking, Kathy decided she wanted to lose some weight (she weighs about 10 pounds, so I don't know where she's going to lose it from), and we should start doing the exercise tapes that we used to do when we were in school. I couldn't find the one we used to do (a Cosmopolitan aerobic workout with an evil instructor named LouAnne), so we've been doing a dance tape. However, it hasn't taken us long to get sick of it. So last night I pulled out a 29-Minute Workout that my mom got in the '80s. And boy, is it funny. Everyone on the tape is wearing those horrible '80s spandex catsuits with the underwear-looking things over them. (It reminds me of the Great Shape Barbie I used to have.) But once we got past the outfits and the Miami Vice-esque music, it's actually a pretty good workout. We felt very Hans-and-Franz when we were done. :)
I like exercise because it makes me more thankful for my health. I am glad I can move and wave my arms and chasse and annoy my first-floor neighbor. :) I love dancing. I was in ballet for six years, but I dropped out because I couldn't do a split and thus could not move on to the next level. I have no flexibility in that behind-the-knee area. At the end of our ballet video, there's a stretch where you're sitting on the floor, and you're supposed to lean forward and grab your ankle. Kathy and I can barely grab our knees. It's pretty sad. :)
Here's something really funny I saw at Amy's blog. I can attest from experience that these classes are needed (especially Topics 7 and 10), but please don't be offended, guys. :)
New courses for men at night school
Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.
Topic 1 - How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays.
- Step by step, with slide presentation.
Topic 2- The Toilet Paper Roll: Do They Grow On the Holders?
- Round table discussion.
Topic 3 - Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat Up and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
- Group practice.
Topic 4 - Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
- Pictures and explanatory graphics.
Topic 5 - The After-Dinner Dishes and Silverware: Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
- Examples on video.
Topic 6 - Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote to Your Wife.
- Helpline support and support groups.
Topic 7 - Learning How to Find Things, Starting with Looking In the Right Place Instead of Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming.
- Open forum.
Topic 8 - Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful to Your Health.
- Graphics and audio tape.
Topic 9 - Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost.
- Real life testimonials.
Topic 10 - Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly As She Parallel Parks?
- Driving simulation.
Topic 11 - Learning to Live: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
- On-line class and role playing.
Topic 12 - How to Be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
- Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic 13 - Fighting Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries, and Other Important Dates, and Calling When You're Going to Be Late.
- Cerebral Shock Therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
NOTE: Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
