the trouble with love is

[chestnutcurls]

La la la. This has been a boring week. It seems like my life is all or nothing. During the months when school is in, I'm busy almost every night. Then summer comes, everything shuts down, and I have nothing to do. I've already finished four decent-length books this month. Well, next week is Emily's wedding week, so I'll have plenty of fun activities then. :)

Last night I made a big mistake. Debra called after her class and wanted to come over. It was almost 9 pm, Ryan was just leaving, and Evan and I really wanted some quiet time together. I explained that to her, and she said it was okay but seemed upset. I felt horrible. Well, she, my mom, and my brother came by earlier to take me to lunch, and she was definitely still mad. I apologized several times but she still acted cool toward me. Lately, finding a balance has been so difficult. I'm trying to make her and Kathy a priority while simultaneously paying attention to Evan, who's used to having a lot of time with me. It's also sad doing things without him, an attitude I used to find very annoying in other people. When did I become the person who wants to be with her boyfriend all the time? What happened to Miss Independent? :P (Speaking of which, I love that Kelly Clarkson song from Love Actually. She's amazing!)



from unpoedic

[name] Brenda
[age] 24
[location] Memphis, Tennessee
[eye color] hazelish
[height] 5'5"
[heritage] Czech, Russian, Irish and English
[last cd i listened to] Warren Barfield
[artist i have the most albums of] Caedmon's Call (five, I think)
[last time i turned on the radio] last time I was in the car
[explanation of LJ name] I was told in high school that I looked like the Mona Lisa. 8-16 is my birthday.
[last place i drove to] work
[last vacation i took] Michigan, for my cousin's wedding, August 2003
[most beautiful place i've ever been to] Lake Geneva
[year of my life i would never live over] 1989-90 (5th grade)
[last movie i saw in the theatre] Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
[most paranoid about] not making the most of my life
[the person i tell the juicy stuff to first] Evan...then my sister
[favorite drink] iced tea
[type of car i wish i had] VW Cabriolet
[dream job] librarian, homemaker
[fave pen] Sakura Gelly Roll
[countries i have been to] USA, Canada, Spain, France, Germany, Switzerland
[other languages i know phrases in] Spanish, French, Italian
[other language i would love to learn] French

Comments

[moredetails.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry your sister acted like that, and man I totally know how you feel. I hate it when my sister seems annoyed at me--it really makes me feel uncomfortable and guilty. But I don't think you should let it. Sometimes sisters are used to having their way (especially younger sisters), and they know they can guilt you later. Time with Evan is a-okay! Also, I don't think you spend an excessive amount of time with him as it is.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Hey, thanks. I'm just sensitive about making sure she knows she's still important to me, since I know how it feels to be on her end. Also, like you said about most younger sisters, she likes to be #1. :) But thanks also for not thinking I'm excessive with Evan. I guess I'm not, especially since I hardly ever get to see him in the daytime.

[krikketgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs and sympathy* on the Debra situation.

It makes it hard when you're not "officially" bound to someone. I mean, if someone wants to do something with me and I say, "No, I need time with the hubby and kids," they usually don't get all huffy. But when you're dating or engaged and pass up an opportunity because you want to spend time with the BF or the fiance, people do get huffy! It is a difficult balancing act. Did you suggest setting up a date with Debra soon for just "you two" time?

And it's totally okay to want to spend time with your someone special! The only warning sign is if you start to feel as though you can't possibly have fun unless they're there. I mean, I've been married for almost nine years, and thus have spent much time with Chris, but I still would rather do almost everything with him than without him. I can have fun if he's not there, but it's so much cooler when we're together.

Um...so yeah, not much to say, but when did that ever stop me from commenting?

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

No, thanks for commenting! I totally agree on both points. I'm fine doing things without Evan but it's just more fun with him. :) Unless it's girl time. Thanks for the benefits of your experience (as always). :)

[my-everafter.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry about the drama with your sister. It is so hard to balance a romantic relationship with other relationships. I hope you are able to survive! You're so busy lately doing so much- I think it's amazing and you're doing a great job so don't be hard on yourself!

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:) Aww, thanks! That's nice of you to say.

[brittuhknee.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. How annoying is it to find that you've become what you used to hate? I've gotten that way over guys before .. it's like you don't realize what those girls' problem is until you're there, lol. I don't think there's anything wrong with you wanting to spend so much time with him, though. =) You love him! It's definitely healthy to have time apart too, yes, but still. I'm sure your sister will come to realize that soon, and things'll work out. <3

Also .. the either completely busy, or completely BORED! I know that feeling all too well! I seem to be on the go non stop anymore, then last week I was sick and stuck home the whole week and was whining the entire time, lol.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:) This made me laugh. Thanks!

:)

[(Anonymous)]

You are supposed to want to spend time with Evan. Something would be wrong if you didn't. While its true that you should not forget your friends and family because of you significant other, that doesn't mean that you should feel bad about wanting to spend time with Evan just because Debs also wants to spend time with you.
I doubt that added much to the other responses. :)

Love the brens!

love
em

Re: :)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks Em! I can't wait to see you!

[mrszoid.livejournal.com]

With my sister, I think it makes alot of difference that Josh took the time to get to know her - such as, the last time we were in town, he took her to Starbucks, just her and him, while I was out with another friend. She doesn't feel quite so left out of things largely because of his effort to be around her.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:) That's nice! Evan is very friendly toward Debs, too. He often talks to her on the phone when I'm too busy to talk. That doesn't seem to make much difference to her, but I really appreciate the effort he makes.

[angelic-1.livejournal.com]

I think it is pretty natural in a relationship to want to spend more time with your SO than with friends and stuff. I think it is also important for friends to realize this and let you have that time without getting bitter toward it.
There has to be a balance of course but God and then you SO and then your other friends should be the priority. You are discovering whether this is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with and you just can't do that is you only have a small amount of time alone together. Sorry about your friend who feels left out and doesn't understnad that!

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thanks Tash!

[angelic-1.livejournal.com]

You're welcome

[canticles.livejournal.com]

Girl, I do understand where you're coming from... You are completely normal to want to spend time with Evan. And I know better than to think you might be spending an excessive amount of time with him. You are just way more balanced than that. ;) Your sister will get over it and everything will be fine. *hugs*

I adore Kelly Clarkson. I want to be her. I'm thinking of serenading my dear groom with "Before Your Love" but I'm afraid it would be cheesy... And man, I haven't been practicing belt-style singing lately... Anyway, I'm in awe of The Voice. What song of hers is on Love Actually? Is it on the album or do I need to go buy the soundtrack just for that one song?

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

It's on both...the title is in the subject line. :) I so want her CD.