this is where we used to live

[chestnutcurls]

I spent two hours at my parents' last night talking to my sister about marriage, jewelry, and politics, among other things. I told her how I'm close to not watching the Today show anymore, because Katie Couric is becoming almost unbearable in her liberalism. A few mornings ago, Kathy and I were eating breakfast in the dining area when we heard NBC Special Report music. Immediately we went to see what was going on. Since 9/11, whenever I hear special report music, I sort of steel myself to see more planes flying into buildings. (I don't think I'm alone in that, either.) So once most of the viewers were on edge, what was the special report for? A Kerry/Edwards photo op! Unbelievable. We flipped to the other channels, and of course, none of them thought this worthy of a break in programming. Kathy was disgusted. Now she keeps saying things like, "Breaking news! Kerry's brushing his teeth for the first time since he announced his candidacy! Look, he even got the back ones!"

I'm going to miss her.

Gandalf has been funny lately. Every morning just before I leave, I give him a cat treat. He's good at routine, so as soon as he hears me go to the door with my shoes on, he hurries over. Well, the other day I was walking into the kitchen, and he came barreling around the corner and literally knocked me out of my shoes. It was hilarious. Apparently the treat is the high point of his day. I explained that I couldn't give it to him if my arms were broken, but that hasn't deterred him from tripping me before.


Now that we're not getting the house, I'm rethinking our honeymoon plans. I realized that Destin, while cheap, quiet, and easy to get to, is basically a ghost town at the end of November. It'll definitely be too cold to swim, and maybe too cold to even lay on the beach. There are no other attractions there. I thought about a few other places, like Myrtle Beach and Tampa, but they'll be just as cold. My parents have been encouraging me to look at honeymoon packages, so I poked around online today and discovered the Sandals Montego Bay Resort. Oh my gosh, I want to go SO BAD. Everything you can think of is included. I could safely pay for it out of savings, but is that really wise? I just don't know. Everyone keeps saying "You can wait and take a big trip later," but isn't your honeymoon supposed to be at least kind of an occasion? Are we going to regret it if we don't seize the day? And how is that trip supposed to happen "later" when we'll have kids and probably only one income? I'm so undecided. Someone slap a waffle on the griddle. I need to talk to Evan more about this.

My ring is too big. It took me a week or so to realize it. I've been loath to part with it so it can get resized, but now it's constantly turning on my finger and I'm afraid of it falling off. Last night my mom said I should buy a guard for it instead of resizing it, because when I'm pregnant my fingers will get too big for my ring. ??? Advice, ladies?

I had lunch today with Alli, my third bridesmaid. She bought my lunch and gave me a copy of Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul. Isn't she nice? I'm so glad she's going to be in the wedding. And now I have something to read on the plane. Virginia, here I come...

Oh, and happy birthday to laraemily, one of the most fun, creative people on LJ. Yay!

Comments

[krikketgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I don't know if this is the best advice or not, but if I were you and could safely pay for the resort out of your savings, and if Evan's all for it, I would say, do it. Especially since you're a total beach gal! : )

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm really stuck on the beach idea. To me it just doesn't seem right to have a honeymoon in the woods or somewhere like that. :)

[miss-becki.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know you very well, but I love giving advice and you asked, so I am offering my two cents!

Re the Honeymoon. This is you once in a lifetime trip. Go somewhere that you really want to go (as long as you can afford it). We went to LA to visit my husband's family. I wish we had done something spectacular, even if it wasnt expensive. You can say you will take a better trip later, but my DH and I were just realizing last night that after 10 yrs together, we have never gone on a vacation that didnt include visiting family. Now we have two kids and a mortgage and actually have to plan to do something like that. Live your life now so that when you have kids you will not regret what you didn't do.

And re the ring. I was a sz 12 when I got married, and over the next 7 yrs, worked my way up to a sz 20/22. In the past 16 mos or so I have lost 60+ lbs and am back down to a sz 14 (I still have 40 lbs to go). My ring, which fit perfectly when I married, no longer fit at all by the time I had my second baby, and I took it off toward the end of my first pregnancy because I was afraid it would get stuck on and they would have to cut it off during my delivery. Now, it fits fine again. That being said, the anniversary ring I got when I was a sz 20 is now loose, but not ready to come off. Take that info for what it's worth. If you are already someone who works out a lot and is very trim, I'd probably have it resized. If not, I'd go with the temp solution. A lot can happen over a lifetime, and it's a lot easier to have it sized down later than back up.

Good luck (and thx for sharing all the fun stuff about your wedding)!

PS- I watch Good Morning America instead of Today for the very reasons you mentioned...

[calypsobard.livejournal.com]

Congrats on your wonderful weight loss!!!
if you dont' mind me asking, what plan did you use?

Weight Watchers

[miss-becki.livejournal.com]

Aw, thx! I follow Weight Watchers, although I don't attend meetings. I love it because you can literally eat ANYTHING you want (cheesecake, pasta, potatoes, etc) as long as you are eating it in good portions with fruits and veggies, etc. I started by watching the ww_users board- those girls are super helpful and encouraging. They shared a lot of before and after pics, and when I realized they had started where I was, I started to think I could probably do it, too! And believe me, if I can do it, anyone can!!

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the thoughts! :)

[stacye13.livejournal.com]

ring issues: mine is looser now that I've lost weight and it turns around a lot b/c its heavy, but I'm not getting resized, just in case. yes, you can get a ring sizer thingie, but it is also very easy to just get it stretched or made smaller, the right store may even be able to do it while you're there. (I love Weimers Jewelry in Bartlett) That wasn't very helpful was it - best to do whatever you're most comforatble with!

Honeymoon issues: we were married 9/9/99, receptioned 10/9/99, honeymooned over New Years (y2k baby!!) No special reason for the delay other than a bunch of friends were meeting up to celebrate the new years overseas; kids weren't an issue cause I'm not having any; it probably saved on time off work b/c of holidays. You could also check w/a travel agent for package deals - they usually have some bargains. Have you thought about a cruise?

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm not such a big fan of cruises. Kathy and Em and I took one after graduation. It was fun, but the boat part wasn't so great for me. :P I get the feeling Sandals is like a stationary cruise. All the fun activities without the constant swaying!

[sominfun.livejournal.com]

If you can afford to splurge I believe splurging is completely acceptable. Make sure to budget for tipping too! Also you might want to explore cruise options. :)
Hugs,
Lauren

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks for your support! I especially value your opinion on financial topics. :)

[calypsobard.livejournal.com]

It is me, bearing advise, while Bucky Kat bears fish heads!! :)
I say do what you want to do within reason.
Get a financial plan going for it. What is it going to cost and how much money do we have adn how much can we charge and pay off reasonably.

MOST importantly... don't forget that chances are really good that you will be able to use as well. One thign we did that horrified my Souther mother was the dollar dance. There's a song and during that song or two people can pay to have a dance with the bride or the groom. Apparently this is perfectly acceptable to do up North. We received quite a bit this way and combined with some of the money we got for the wedding, we really didn't have to get into our accounts for the stuff we did in Destin.

Which is lovely!!!!

But we were there 9/28/03-10/3/03 and alot of places were putting up their closing for the season signs.

By the time we baught our wedding rings and then actually had them on at the wedding, J had lost weight. We were travelnig down I-40 heading to FL when at the Getwell exit he realizes he doenst' have his on anymore!!!!!! We pull over at a Mcdonald's and search the car and finally find it in the trunk where it had slid off while packing the car.

My vote is to get it resized and dont' risk it. You're only pregnant for a short time and during that time you can wear it around your neck or something.

[anulyra.livejournal.com]

Let me start with the pregnancy comment from your mother. Is she in a rush or what? LOL! ;) Yes, fingers will swell in the latter months. I'm almost half way through. My ring has been too big since I lost weight. I keep waiting for my fingers to swell so it will fit again, but it's not happened yet. Many women wait too long to take their rings off and then have have then cut off by a doctor. If you can remember to retire it when it gets snug, then go ahead and have it resized. You'll only have to part with it for a couple of months, and who knows when that will be.

As for the honeymoon.. I personally think it's more important than a big fancy wedding. It doesn't have to be over-the-top plush, but ya gotta do something nice. We only had about 135 guests and we ended up with over $1000 in cash in our cards (this does not include gifts and checks). We blew the whole wad on our honeymoon. Maybe it's not the model of stewardship, but it was our last hurrah before living on a budget. When will you get to take a nice vacation? I think it's a great way to kick off a marriage. It's good bonding time and not just physical. [I intend to have a "babymoon" after my birth.] I've always wanted to go to a sandals resort. *drool* That's my totally emotional and empty of wisdom opinion on the matter. ;)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

LOL! Well, it's not so much that as she seems to think I'll become overweight and the ring won't fit anymore. Thanks for the vote of confidence. :P

Good thoughts!

[anulyra.livejournal.com]

There is another thing you can do. The jeweler can put little gold bumps or bars (hard to describe) along the inside of the bottom of the band to keep the ring from spinning around. It doesn't really change the sizing of the ring. It just makes it fit a little snugger. I wish I new what it was called.

[thetenthshadow.livejournal.com]

Speaking of cats, I haven't seen little Dougal in two weeks. I wonder if he was adopted? :( I'd hate to see him go, but doubtless there's another family who can take care of him better than I can on my income...

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:( Aww, I'm sorry to hear that! He might come back around. Cats wander for a long time sometimes.

[tingilya.livejournal.com]

I can't stand Katie Couric either. You can't even IMAGINE the depths to which my father despises her. It's really bizarre!

Honeymoon? I say go for it! Imagine that fun time with Evan right here at the start. Y'all would have a blast! Doooooo iiiiittttt.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Was that in a Starsky & Hutch voice? LOL.

[rawee1.livejournal.com]

Size your ring to fit just so it won't fall off on its own. If it's turning but there's no way it'll fall off, I would get a guard like your mom says.

But you don't want to leave it huge, pregnancy aside. Plenty of women can wear their rings straight through pregnancy, PMS, and anything else that might come along.

If you have enough in savings to comfortably live for three months in an emergency after taking out some honeymoon money, you definitely should! Also contemplate asking the parents (both sets) for honeymoon donations in lieu of a wedding present. i.e. My parents are paying for our flights to Alaska, but we're paying for activities and hotels.

You'll be amazed at how many people love you enough to fly in town to see you!

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:) Well, we're not expecting too many people to come. Family members, anyway. Most of my relatives live in Texas, and apparently there's some law against Texans leaving the state, because my grandmother has only been here twice and none of the others have ever come to see us.

We could ask our parents, though...

[rawee1.livejournal.com]

P.S. Another reason not to get your ring too tightly fit- it will be much different once you have a wedding band on with the ring. Try on a band with it how it fits now and it might surprise you!

[carries.livejournal.com]

Fraser & I didn't do anything for our honeymoon. For the first week we stayed in a posh static caravan in St Andrews. It was a fantastic week, the best week of my life (so far at that stage!). It was so relaxing, cos we knew the area, we didn't feel any pressure to sightsee. We just spent time enjoying our first week of married life, going for beach walks, eating out, going for coffee etc..

Our second week we went to London and stayed in a nice hotel. It was a brillant week too but not as restful as we did loads. It was good fun to see London together cos neither of us had been since we were kids.

My advice for honeymooning is to go somewhere familiar and where you feel relaxed, and just enjoy each others company 24/7. Its so good to relax after all the wedding stuff is over.

However, our BIG trip will have to wait for awhile yet!! But I don't regret not splashing out on our honeymoon. Just being together with no-one else about is fabby :)

[carries.livejournal.com]

Edit- What I meant was Fraser and I didn't do anything major for our honey moon!!!!

BUT, if you can afford it - splash out!

Am I contradicting myself!!!1

[jmcphers.livejournal.com]

Obviously I've never been on a honeymoon, but if you ask me, the attitude of "well, you can always do it later" can always be applied. It's too easy to wake up one morning five years into your marriage and feel unfulfilled or resentful that you never got to take the nice trip that you wanted to take. (Granted, that probably reveals more of an attitude problem than anything, but it's still a consideration.) If you can pay for the trip without putting yourself in financial danger, I'd say--you only get one honeymoon; go for it!

Hope the ring works out OK. (-:

[enjoythemoment.livejournal.com]

I say go for the big honeymoon. I don't think you'll regret it. You only have one shot, right? And I think you're right about being busy "later" and then never be able to do it. It's YOUR wedding and honeymoon. Do what YOU and EVAN want! :)

[ruthieroo.livejournal.com]

My ring was HUGE and I hated parting with it. I only had it for a couple days before I needed to get it resized because it would have fallen off. I have scrawny, stick fingers. Even when it was resized I thought, "Uh oh...I should have went down another half size or something..." because while it wasn't going to fall off, it still felt a little loose. But like someone else said: try it on with a band. Because my engagement ring with my wedding band is fine--they both feel perfect.

As far as the honeymoon thing: it really seems to be an individual thing. I would have HATED trying to do a honeymoon trip under my circumstances--we were moving across the world! Even without that, I never really wanted a honeymoon. For me the best thing was to just get settled down figuring out this whole day to day marriage business. For me it somehow seemed more natural more real to just start living the way you will 99 percent of the time. But as I said--that was my view even before I got engaged or anything. Otherwise I think I'm pretty much exempt from answering because of my circumstances.;-)

By the way--Hamilton Island is great for honeymoons. You should come.;-) (j/k)

Anyway, hope everything gets straightened out for you and Evan regarding what you both think is best. I guarantee you that, like I kinda said regarding the wedding (yeah, so I only have one piece of advice--I have to recycle it a lot!), it'll be sweet and special just because it's you together with the man of your dreams!

[radiojedi.livejournal.com]

* re: Katie Couric. Read Spin Sisters by Myrna Blyth.

*Honeymoon: Whatever you want to do will be wonderful for the both of you. Don't do something you regret though--whether that is spending a ton of money or whether that is NOT getting away somewhere nice :)

I have advice on the ring question

[(Anonymous)]

I've been married for 10 years now and only the first year of my marriage did I wear the actual ring my husband placed on my finger. I gained weight with the first baby, had to get the ring enlarged, lost that weight and then plumped up again for baby number two. I'm sorry to say that while the baby weight goes away, so much of your body doesn't go back to the way it was and one small sacrifice for me was my long skinny fingers.

The advice I have for you is to go with the ring guard, you can get a comfortable one that you can remove when the babies do start to arrive and its much less expensive and you don't have the trauma of parting with your engagement ring while it gets sized. Those days are so fun and you never know when you might come upon an opportunity to show off your ring and you'd be without it.

However, its not catastrophic either way you decide to go:)

[laraemily.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the birthday wish! :-D

[larienelanesse.livejournal.com]

Goodness Brenda, are you completely copying me or what? My ring is too big, too!! I had my finger sized way before Josh bought the ring, at a high quality place, I think it was Alvins Jewlers or something. Anyway, they said 5 1/2, while I said 5. We figured they knew what they were talking about, but it turns out they really didn't know squat. My ring spins around my finger, and constantly feels like it will fall off if I'm not careful. I just have it sit edged up on my knuckle so it doesn't spin.

Josh and I asked someone at WalMart how much it normally costs to get a ring resized (at any place, 'cause WalMart doesn't do that kind of stuff), the lady told us it'd only be like $20. We're waiting until after we're married to worry about that, because I have bigger things on my mind currently than the size of my ring. lol

In the beginning though, I took a little piece of scotch tape, rolled it up and stuck it on the bottom of my funger under the ring. Worked for showing the rnig off. :)

[sovevuni.livejournal.com]

Brenda, would you mind if I add you to my friends' list? I've been reading your journal for awhile and I do enjoy it. :)

And more to the topic: don't give up on your honeymoon plans. We did not honeymoon for financial and other reasons and I regretted it. It helps you to get accustomed to the new reality of BEING MARRIED. :)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Sure! :) Thanks for reading!

[helenangel.livejournal.com]

Personally, I agree with you that you should treat yourselves to a good honeymoon now. Otherwise, you are absolutely right that you will put it off until it never happens. Do it now and save yourself from regret.

As for the ring... your mom has a great point. However, your fingers may not swell much if you drink lots of water during your pregnancy and that's 9 months out of the rest of our life (or 18 or 27- depending on how many kids you have). I'd go ahead and get it resized and save yourself from the heartbreak of losing it (or worse, having it snitched off you like mine was).

[eleutheria.livejournal.com]

Or you're becoming more critical of Katie Couric. That woman must have been born knowing how to make sly stabs at all things conservative. Matt Louer too, for that matter.

[canticles.livejournal.com]

I can tell you one thing. If Phillip and I had the money and time available, we would be "seizing the day." And I have friends who used Sandals and LOVED it...

[jeffholton.livejournal.com]

...close to not watching the Today show anymore, because Katie Couric is becoming almost unbearable in her liberalism.

Really?

I think it's important to listen to liberals, because they represent half of the american political perspective, and because they are real people with real feelings.

Be conservative. And continue to listen to liberals.