I don't ask a lot girl, but I know one thing for sure

[chestnutcurls]

And now, the latest news.

We dropped off my ring yesterday to be sized. (In the meantime I'm wearing my Hope ring on that finger so my hand won't look/feel totally naked. Funny how quickly you get used to things.) While we were there, we briefly looked at bands, but the pushy saleslady refused to show us anything other than the diamond band that's meant to go with my ring. It was gorgeous and matched nicely, but we can only afford plain gold bands, thank you very much. We might have to go to Wal-Mart or something just to be allowed to get what we want. :P Anyway, I got emotional leaving my ring behind. We went to Baskin-Robbins later, and most of my Espresso n' Cream double scoop fell off the cone, and I felt so sad. I was like "This is a bad day...first I lose my ring, and now this!" Evan laughed at me (in a sweet way). I decided it was God's way of telling me I didn't need to eat all that ice cream.

We're still in the process of registering, and it's getting frustrating. We can't find bedding or bath stuff in the colors we want, and we don't want to add any more stores...three registries is enough. We wanted to do green in the bedroom and blue in the bathroom; now I think we're switching them. Last night we found and added a nice blue bed set, but unfortunately it's Calvin Klein and costs a fortune. I feel horrible expecting anyone to pay $60 for a sheet. We might change it, but the other choices look like they're made from curtains. Even Fraulein Maria had a better comforter.

I'm sure I sound so spoiled and boring these days with all the "problems" of my life. Sorry about that. I feel dumb lately. I worry and struggle a lot about making wrong decisions. Not necessarily wedding decisions (although there's plenty of pressure there), but everyday moral issues. I'm not affected by other people's opinions in terms of solid, theological issues, but when it comes to things that I see as gray areas (such as birth control or schooling issues), I second-guess myself very easily. If someone I respect holds a strong opinion on a gray area, I panic and assume that my view must be wrong. This leads to troubling thoughts of God condemning me for making the wrong choice, and I forget all about the grace given me in Christ, which is, you know, kind of important. So I'm trying to stop forming my views based on what other Christians think. I'll just keep praying and reading the Bible and let God deal with me. But I admire people who are settled in their stances about things.

On a much lighter note, Evan and I watched The Bourne Identity again and now I'm ready for the sequel. It might be a while before I see it, though. We're going to the movies with Myla and Ryan tomorrow night, but it's to see The Village. I'm sure I'll have nightmares, but I want to see it because M. Night whatshisname is so awesome. Also, randomly, I'm really in the mood to watch That Thing You Do. One of my all-time favorites.

Comments

[stacye13.livejournal.com]

Can't wait to hear your review of The Village. I want to see it, but haven't been particularly keen on his other movies, so I'm not sure. I'll wait & hear what you say.
If it makes you feel better about colors, we couldn't decide either, so I just got a buncha neutral colored stuff. And we STILL haven't decided!! And, someone I work with got our expensive sheet set for my shower gift - I was so shocked!!
I have an aunt in the jewelry business, come see me about your bands...

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

And how long have you been married? :) It's hard to pick colors. We found some okay green stuff, but Evan said it was too girly.

[krikketgirl.livejournal.com]

On the "every-day moral issues," or at least the ones you mentioned, schooling and birth-control...a lot of those things seem to fall in the arena of there not being a "right" or "wrong" choice; for example, many of our church friends think we're lunatics for not home-schooling, but we researched and prayerfully approached it, and decided that it just wasn't for us. On the other hand, I don't think that we are "more right" than they are, nor do I think the reverse is true.

Chris put it this way: in our church, we observe the seventh-day Sabbath. Now, there are the more liberal among us (for example, Chris and I) who take the "thou shalt do no work on this day" to be less proscriptive than others do; for example, I'll make breakfast on the Sabbath, put dishes in the dishwasher, even go out to lunch or dinner on the Sabbath. I don't mind if the kids play or run around outside.

On the other end of the spectrum there are those who take it very seriously as a "day of rest"--the kids are not allowed to play outside, they won't turn the stereo on, they won't read the newspaper, they won't go out to lunch on the Sabbath.

So in a discussion with Chris, I referred to this and asked, "How do we know which is more right?"

His reply was that, as far as he can see, there are many areas that are not strictly black-and-white, but are rather personal decisions. That in some people there may be, say, a "switch" that makes eating out on the Sabbath, to them, a sin. But that "switch" isn't flipped in everybody. Therefore, it's no good to compare what we're doing with other Christians, even in the same church...because each walk is a personal walk with God, and what may be "sin" to one may not be to another.

Does that make any sense?

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Totally! That's EXACTLY how I feel- I'm usually fine with doing things differently. It's when people get disapproving that I start freaking out. I don't see myself as better or worse than other Christians who make different choices. To me we're all on the same road. :)

The other thing, which you probably understand, is that I tend to be on the more "liberal" side of things, which makes me a prime target for disagreement. I think of the Sabbath the same way you do, for example. I feel bad because it seems like a "good" Christian would just err on the side of restrictiveness in every area. Do you know what I mean? I feel like my viewpoints are bad just because they're "easier." But that's not necessarily true. I hope that made sense.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

It's OK. Just breathe. Everyone is entitled to an off-day. I'm sure even Mary hollered once or twice "Shut the door, son, were you born in barn?" before she bit her tongue.

Birth control has never been a grey area for me. I know it is for a lot of people. It seemed as sensible to me as brushing my teeth and making sure I didn't get water in my ears (esp. after the time that resulted in near-fatal mastoiditis). But I figured God wanted me to take care of myself and get my education so I could be a good Mom for the kids that would come. When the time was right for kids, God let me know. I used it to space the kids (12, 9, 6 and 4) so I didn't wear out my body. To me, it's the equivalent of sealing the foundations so the temple doesn't cave in.

Schooling. Despite what folks say, 80% of people in this country are Christians. That means most of the teachers in public schools are. They aren't atheists or satanists bent on warping kids. They're the folks in the pew next to you or playing the organ at church. Private school is good for very specific things, and homeschooling is good for the right parents and children.


God is the ultimate judge. When one lives in an echo chamber of any sort (socially active, fundamentalist), it's easy to believe God only cares about certain issues. And when you identify your pastor's hobby horse (and, believe me, he has one) you are better prepared to think for yourself on that issue.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Hey, thanks. :)

What's mastoiditis?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

The bone around your ear canal is the mastoid bone.
It's very porous and spongey. This makes it easy for infection to take root.

Unattended, such an infection can spread, leading to brain inflammation and death.

I got a very bad case of it when I was about 15. The Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and I fought it for months before he threw up his hands and took out the bone.

[lajea.livejournal.com]

It's good to hear from you! :) You may say you are stressed out or worried or what not, but you really don't seem that way. As always, you have a cheery perspective and that is so refreshing!!!! :) I'll keep praying for you and pray especially for you to have peace in the decisions you are making during this time...

Love,
Laura

[lajea.livejournal.com]

PS I am dying to see THE VILLAGE and I love THAT THING YOU DO! :)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your prayers! :) *hugs*

[sovevuni.livejournal.com]

"So I'm trying to stop forming my views based on what other Christians think."

Very reasonably. :)

The problem is that no matter what do you, in any area of your life, you will ALWAYS hear someone disagreeing with you or saying that what you do/think/etc. is wrong. This is true for "Christian stuff" too: beliefs, practices, views on delicate issues and so on.

I, as for one, try to follow what Paul wrote: "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Cor. 6:12)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Ooo, good verse! Thanks for the reminder that Christian issues are still issues. I tend to feel like Christians ought to agree on everything. Which we should, but being sinful I think that's kind of impossible on earth. :)

[greenhornet.livejournal.com]

That's excellent advice, Also

Romans 14:10 is also helpful

So why do you condemn another Christian? Why do you look down on another Christian? Remember, each of us will stand personally before the judgment seat of God.(NLT)

God is interested in your personal faith in him and in you (and your spouse) working out your own salvation.

[dirtbird.livejournal.com]

I'm still not used to my ring. I had none for 28 years :)

So I'm trying to stop forming my views based on what other Christians think.
We ended up doing exactly that when faced with the same issues, and figured that if they have more of an issue with it that we do, that's their problem. As long as we didn't do anything totally off the wall, of course.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:) I was trying to think of a humorous response to "off the wall," but I'm coming up blank. :)

Not exactly ice cream

[cafemusique.livejournal.com]

I'd just finished making some Mr. Noodles last night, and was just getting ready to leave the kitchen when I stumbled, and about half of my supper fell off my plate. That was frustrating! At least I had a Michelina's mac & cheese in the freezer, so I could nuke it and have a big enough supper to fill me somewhat!

Re: Not exactly ice cream

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Oh no! :( That's the worst. At least I didn't NEED the ice cream to fill me up.

What is Mr. Noodles? Is that like ramen noodles? It's a fun name, anyway.

Re: Not exactly ice cream

[cafemusique.livejournal.com]

I think so...the 3/$1 rectangles of noodles, stick 'em in boiling water for 2-3 min...

Anyway, I ended up with a nicer meal in the end anyway...

[raysofhope.livejournal.com]

Re: registering--I feel for you. I *hated* registering--it was so frustrating to me. Picking colors and coordinating things and figuring out where and blah! I think it was one of the more stressful things I did wedding-planning-wise.

And people *will* pay more for a wedding gift (esp. family and close friends), so I wouldn't worry about that. :) This is a time to celebrate you and Evan and help you two get off to a good start together! :)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks for relating.

[rawee1.livejournal.com]

I hope you won't feel guilty about registering. Here are the reasons we register:

1) To give people an idea of our taste, decorating colors, etc.
2) To prevent unwanted ugly lamps, etc.
3) To give our guests choices. People feel lost without gifts on a registry- truly a wise idea is to have 2 gifts registered for each wedding guest you're inviting. Even if they're very small or very large (grandma may want to spring for the comforter set!), someone will be looking in that price range for you, and will be far more disappointed to have fewer choices than to see more items.

I know it's kind of stressful, but you can add things online all the way up to the week of the wedding, and you don't have to pick everything in one trip. Just relax and have fun with it- you only get to pick these things once, so pick as many as you like as a favor to your wedding guests.

P.S. At target you can add gift cards to your registry!

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Yes...I definitely don't want ugly lamps. :) My friends tell me that a lot of older people won't look at your registry and will get you ugly lamps anyway. But you can return them. :)

[carries.livejournal.com]

" but when it comes to things that I see as gray areas (such as birth control or schooling issues), I second-guess myself very easily. If someone I respect holds a strong opinion on a gray area, I panic and assume that my view must be wrong. This leads to troubling thoughts of God condemning me for making the wrong choice, and I forget all about the grace given me in Christ, which is, you know, kind of important. So I'm trying to stop forming my views based on what other Christians think. I'll just keep praying and reading the Bible and let God deal with me. But I admire people who are settled in their stances about things."

My advice - is not to speak to too many people about moral stuff and go with what you feel is right and good. From my experience with birth control, I felt no condemnation what so ever. But the more I talked to people with different views the more confused I got.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's exactly it! Too many cooks and only one pot. :) That's good advice. Thanks.

[anulyra.livejournal.com]

If someone I respect holds a strong opinion on a gray area, I panic and assume that my view must be wrong.

I do that too! Way too much. That's how I got into the whole cal/armin thing to begin with. God saved me and walked me though over 10 years of faith and then somebody with a different idea suddenly upset my whole view of salvation.