had a bad day again

[chestnutcurls]

Today is not going well at all. I started the day with a voicemail from a girl I've mentioned in passing before. She was in RUF with me for years, and I can't even begin to describe her, except that she's destructive and melodramatic, yet thinks everyone loves her. Last night at Bible study, I was talking about bridesmaid stuff with Alli, and this girl got quiet. When I got to work, she had left me a message saying that she was hurt that Alli was in the wedding and not her, because she and I are "so much closer". She said she felt she deserved an explanation or an apology! ?!?!!! The audacity. I was speechless. All I could do was let out a squeak that made my co-workers ask what was wrong. I still haven't responded. I'm tempted to ignore her completely and let her draw her own conclusions. Good grief.

Later, my mom called to suggest that we have the invitations printed at Kinko's tomorrow. I was completely relieved at the thought of not having to print them all myself, but when I went there to get a quote, they told me they can't do wedding invitations that aren't the size of a piece of paper. ??? When was the last time one of you got an 8.5" x 11" wedding invitation? Anyway, I went down the street to a real printer and got a quote from them. It's definitely more expensive than doing it myself, but my parents are going to discuss it. The lady said if I drop them off Monday, I'll have them on Friday. Then I can spent Friday night and Saturday addressing envelopes by myself, and mail them before going to Robin's wedding, which will be eight weeks from our wedding, still. But it's definitely not ideal. I am so, so mad at myself. I must be the stupidest bride in the world. How did I think I was going to print 160 invitations myself? And I might still be doing that. Why didn't I plan for this sooner? I'm sick and tired of worrying about wedding etiquette and what everyone is going to think or say. If people want to judge me based on the quality of my wedding stuff, that's their problem. There are MUCH more important things in the world, and I'd really like to get back to thinking about those things, instead of wasting two hours worrying about the appropriateness of return address labels. No wonder I feel so small-minded lately.

Meanwhile, at work, we're proofing things for the new database system. Proofing is awful. I have done ten items so far and I already want to tear my hair out. There's a bridal shower for my friend Cortney this afternoon, so that should brighten things up. Except that just now, someone asked me whether I had booked the right conference room, and I thought I hadn't and almost started crying. Thankfully, it was okay. Nice to know I did something right today. :P

If you read all that, you get a gold star. I'm sorry for being such a whiner. I do feel better now, though.

Comments

[alissamarie.livejournal.com]

Oy, I can totally sympathize with your first paragraph. I know someone like that and I sort of expect the same reaction when I get married . . .

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

I'll be praying for you! :P :)

[joyfulgal.livejournal.com]

First of all, don't worry--at least in my opinion you didn't come across as whiny at all. Sorry, try harder next time--it'll make the rest of us whiners (okay, me) feel better! Besides with the amount of things you've got going on and your stress levels, you are definitely entitled to a bit of an outlet!

Oh, and I have to say, with the girl who expected to be a bridesmaid... where does she get off? Honestly! But at the same time, it is so pathetic, it is almost amusing. Is that evil of me?

*hugs*

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *hugs back*

[fraserspeirs.livejournal.com]

Deserved an apology? What the heck? People can be so crazy insensitive at wedding times.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

No kidding. Thanks for the support. :)

[aardwolf.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... would she happen to have an older brother my age, or am I thinking of someone entirely different? ;)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Gee, how did you know? :P

[aardwolf.livejournal.com]

I thought you two were best buddies???? :P

[anulyra.livejournal.com]

Aww.. I hope things look up soon! I hate to see you so frustrated.

Did/will you really save that much by printing your own invites? I don't recall mine being all that expensive.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

They said it was $280 to print all of them. Compared to the price of a printer cartridge. It might be worth it for our sanity, though!

[krikketgirl.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, Brenda! Remember, even if you just scrawl "Getting married, please come," with the time and the date, run off a couple hundred copies and mail 'em, people will still come, you'll still be just as married...and it'd probably be totally memorable to boot!

*hugs* Everything will be beautiful. Just take a couple of deep breaths and let your head clear. Or go home and kick the washer, which is probably what I'd do. *hugs again*

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

If I had a washer, that's what I would do. I could walk to the laundry room and kick the washer there. :P Thanks!

[starloft.livejournal.com]

krikketgirl, i like that idea for wedding invitations. it seems artsy. haha.

brenda, i hope everything works out with the invitations and that the irritating girl realizes that *your* wedding isn't about *her*.

[jeffholton.livejournal.com]

I'm into sucking up.

Tell her you're sorry you ran out of room in the bridal party and her name on the slip of paper fell under your desk and you'll save her an extra piece of cake.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:)

[jeffholton.livejournal.com]

That icon is perfect.

:)

[mzspearz.livejournal.com]

*hugz*

That girl sounds as if she's not *ahem* in touch with the world around her. & an apology? Um, it's the bride's wedding, which means her choice. I hope it all comes out well for you.

& I don't think you're stupid - at all. You're so smart. The fact that you are keeping others in mind shows how caring you are, too. But don't worry so much about etiquette, I'm sure no one gets it 100% right. Well, maybe the British, but they're raised that way (haha, joke!). & there are definitely more important things in the world <3

After the Bridal Shower, go take a nice long bubble bath if Evan's not coming over....& spoil yourself a little. Bad days like this need to have a nice ending ;)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :) I had some cake at the shower, so that's raised my spirits a little. Yay cake.

[thetenthshadow.livejournal.com]

Ignore the girl. Feh. What a drama queen.
Do I get a gold star? :)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

:)

[helenangel.livejournal.com]

You're not a whiner at all!

If people want to judge me based on the quality of my wedding stuff, that's their problem.

Here here! If you sent me an 11.5x8 photocopied wedding invitation that had "Come to my wedding" handprinted on it, I wouldn't care or think less of you for it. There are more important things and the people who love you realize that. -hugs-

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thanks for always understanding. :)

[radiojedi.livejournal.com]

I don't know how close or not close you are with that girl, but sometimes people do expect to be bridemaids. I had expected to be one for one of my closest friends, who was in my wedding and I was not and was very hurt. But others whom I know who have gotten married who are my friends or whom I have had some social status with, I don't expect that.

The other thing is that it seems that we don't always realize how much work certain things will be when we first plan our wedding. Thus, its perfectly normal for you to have invite worries with the printing stuff. And if anyone judges you by the quality of yoru invitations, that's absurd! It's about the committment you are making, not the paper :)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Good points, but this girl has NO reason to expect it. She's really not my friend except in her own mind, and that's how it's always been. She's like that with everyone, basically. She throws fits and makes up stories. She can't be reasoned with. :P

Thanks for the encouragement!

[radiojedi.livejournal.com]

There you go--then she is not someone who should "expect" it. :)

[laura8225.livejournal.com]

I've never understood wedding etiquette myself. Not that I've ever been directly in the situation, but sometimes I just wonder why things are supposed to be a certain way. For example, couldn't a phone call invitation be just as, if not more, personal than a hand-written one?

You are not stupid and you are not whiny. Thank you for sharing your feelings with all of us. I hope you feel better about things soon! *hugs*

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thank you Laura!

[prncsssevo.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Awww, I'm sorry you're having a bad day, Brenda! That girl needs to get a grip on reality though. Whatever girlie.

As for the invites...that seems odd that Kinko's wouldn't do another size. Very strange. Good luck with it though!

I'll say a prayer for ya!

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

It really did seem strange. Maybe I should go ask at another one.

[prncsssevo.livejournal.com]

Maybe so. Good luck! :-)

[rawee1.livejournal.com]

It'll be okay, sweetie. Designate a few hours just for wedding stuff each day, then turn it off. You'll lose your mind if you're nonstop wedding!

The bridesmaid issue... well, women can be ticky, can't they? I'm making it easy on myself by just having 1, my sister. I did have a nice would-be-bridesmaids party, though, to include my other good friends.

Today I met with the band guy, the photographer, and the menu/placecard girl. This is going to be the most formal and gorgeous wedding I've ever been to! I can't wait. So excited you and Evan will be there. I'm seating you guys and Lawson with 4 of my friends from Memphis College of Art. Kelly and Andrew are part of why I'm a churchgoer today, though I'm not sure they realize it. You probably met Kelly at the shower- I think you sat kind of across from her.
Nikki and Kent will have just moved here from Michigan.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Ooo, sounds fun! :)

It was hard for me to pick my 4th bridesmaid because there were several people I wanted. It all worked out, though, because the other friends are playing other roles in the wedding. So they know we love them. :)

[rawee1.livejournal.com]

That's good. It really is tough planning a wedding because you do have to pick favorites as far as the guest list and attendants. We left a lot of people out I haven't known very long, but am closer to now than some of my older friends. It kind of sucks, but I guess longevity beats all.

[raysofhope.livejournal.com]

Oh Brenda, I am so sorry! I can totally, totally relate. Just remember that you can't please everyone and what's more, you shouldn't have to.

And, I had my invites printed at Kinkos.

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Skye!

[tingilya.livejournal.com]

Venting is good. I like it when people vent, because I know they're getting out much-needed frustration. :-)

(((big hugs)))

Just ignore the uppity so-and-so. She doesn't *deserve* to be in your wedding. Heck, with an attitude like that she doesn't deserve to be invited! I wouldn't even call her back if I were you. There's just nothing you can say to that.

And I'm sure your invitations will be lovely no matter what, so don't worry. :-)

[chestnutcurls.livejournal.com]

Thanks D. :) *hugs*

[roadsquish.livejournal.com]

I think you should email your invites. Then when you mail the envelopes with the printed labels, it won't seem so bad ;P

[mandajanie.livejournal.com]

Yikes regarding all the bridesmand stuff! That, and your invitations problems made me rather glad I'm a spinster. ;) Hehe.

Seriously though, I hope things get better soon! I can't imagine how stressed you must be!

!!!

[(Anonymous)]

I can't believe she would do that! Well, take that back- I completely believe that she would do that, unfortunately. I've tried to block all thoughts of her (and her brother) out of my mind- I didn't know you even had any contact with her now. I'm sorry. Its not worth responding to, because you know that conversation would end up even worse.

Sorry about the wedding woes- everything will be ok. Don't worry about what other people think- this is YOUR wedding. And- remember- no matter what happens, Evan and you will be married in just a few short weeks, whatever else happens doesn't matter. :)


LOVE THE BRENS!!!
love
em

[zonneschijn.livejournal.com]

Everybody needs to let off some steam once in a while, gal! I don't think of you as a whiner at all. :)

I'm tempted to ignore her completely and let her draw her own conclusions.

I'd be tempted to do that as well. :/ I'm praying God gives you wisdom about that situation. *big hugs*

[enjoythemoment.livejournal.com]

well, brens, I wasn't going to say anything, but now...I can't believe I am not in the wedding...we're BFFs!!! I want an apology.

[carries.livejournal.com]

How can anyone presume to be someones bridesmaid! Silly girl. The thing is she has made herself more unlikely by saying that. She needs to learn some"death to self", or at least keep her reactions to herself!

[danialand.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness! Brenda I don't understand why that girl would expect an apology. That is just insane!

[jazzypoet.livejournal.com]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Brenda}}}}}}}}}}}}} Praying for you, sweetie. I hope this weekend has been much better. *hugs!*

[ooglie-wooglie.livejournal.com]

You are not the worst bride, & you're right, there are more important things. The fact that you know that is proof you're nowhere near stupid.

Love,
eliz

[angelic-1.livejournal.com]

You are not the stupidest bride in the world or an idiot or anything like that so don't say you are!
I made all my invitations myself and they were things stuck to other card and folded and angles stuck on them and then addresses cut out with a special cutter and stuck on them and it was a nightmare - get yours printed if you can find the money - it will save you in the long run!
Things will work out - you feel like a stressed out bridezilla now but it will all happen fine and in the end the little details won't mean as much as the fact you are marrying the one you want to spend the rest of you life with!

As for that girl - exactly what makes people think that have a right to be in a bridal party? Doesn't the bride get to choose that any more?