The Beauty and the Mess

The sun was shining for the first time in over a week, but now the clouds are back! Why?!?!

Well, this is it. I'm just sitting here waiting for noon. When I come back to work I'll have a new name and a new life. It's totally bizarre. Tomorrow Evan's parents and cousin, and my cousin Tiff (I'm so excited to see her), are coming for Thanksgiving. Everyone else comes in late Friday night or early Saturday morning. I feel bad that all these people are traveling to see us and I'll hardly get to spend any time with any of them...but the family could have come for Thanksgiving and chose not to, so I guess it's equally their fault. Anyway, tomorrow should be a relaxing day. On Friday I'm getting a manicure and a pedicure, and then we're having our bridesmaid lunch (without Em :( ). Then we rehearse. Wow. I feel weird. Still calm and non-nervous, but weird. Evan says it's because you always see getting married as something that will happen someday. Then someday becomes Saturday. :)

My mom just called, and apparently another cousin and his wife are coming. They did not RSVP or indicate through other people that they were coming, and we already gave the final numbers to the country club lady. They just got married last year, so they should know how this works. *sigh* Only three more days and I can stop fighting about stupid things. Do you realize I've been continuously planning or helping to plan a wedding for the last year and a half? When this is over, I can have hobbies and relaxation and an open schedule again. I don't even remember what that's like. One thing that annoyed me on Wedding Channel the other day was the "coming home together" page...it said something like, "Now you can start planning your new life together." Sorry to disappoint them, but God willing, I won't be planning anything else for quite a while.

I keep checking and re-checking and re-printing our honeymoon itinerary. I have this irrational fear that the reservations didn't really go through and we'll show up at the airport to find that we have no tickets - or worse, show up in Jamaica to find that we have no room. But with the amount I paid Travelocity, we better have a plane and a room. I'm just paranoid.

Okay...there's nothing else to say. Danielle, Shelley, Shana and Phillip (and Lawson, Robin, Jeremy, and Addie), I'll see you on Saturday! Yay! Thank you all for your support and encouragement. It means a lot. I may find time for a quick post before the wedding, but otherwise, I'll see all of you on the flip side. :D

I don't have much time to post, but I wanted to share that it's Evan's birthday! He's 25 today. Yay! Thanks, God, for bringing him into the world. :)

This weekend is action-packed. Tonight Evan and I are having our last real date as a non-married couple. In addition to being his birthday, today is also our 14-monthiversary. Not that we'd normally count that, but the coincidence is fun. Tomorrow is his bachelor party (i.e. a bunch of guys playing Halo 2 at Ashley's and consuming mass quantities of meat :)), and Sunday is my church bridal shower, which is my last bridal shower overall.

My other thoughts are wedding complaints you don't want to hear. I spent a full hour on the phone with the church wedding coordinator this morning and got several unpleasant surprises. There are so many rules at our church, I think it may have been better to get married in a field. And things will only get worse from here, planning-wise. To quote Alissa, ::headexplodey::.

The weather today is very Novemberish - chilly, dark and dreary. Definitely a Rain Day. (For those new to the friends list, I believe that schools and businesses should have rain days in addition to snow days. Some days are so perfect for staying in bed and reading, it's a shame to waste them in a cubicle.)

Has anyone seen the video or pictures from the Oklahoma tornadoes yesterday? They teased me with a clip of the footage on the morning news, and I've tried to find it online, to no avail. Basically several tornadoes formed in the space of a few minutes, and video was taken from a helicopter as it happened. They actually caught the funnel dropping and the tornado forming. It thrilled my little meteorologist heart. Maybe the Weather Channel will re-run it?

At Kroger I saw Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper and had to try it, so without thinking, I bought a 12-pack. Evan pointed out that a two-liter would have been better, but it was too late. I just drank my first one, and I'm not so impressed. Ironically, it doesn't have much discernible flavor. Too many competing flavors, maybe? If anyone local wants to try it, I'll be happy to give you one. But I also got some Welch's White Grape Cherry juice, and it is goooood. Win some, lose some.

Tonight we're having dinner at Kathy and Daniel's! I have only been to their apartment one other time, so it'll be fun to see it now that it's all arranged. We're having spaghetti and Kathy has promised me a surprise low-fat dessert. It should be a nice relaxing time. I'm looking forward to it. I need to relax. Last night we were at my parents' and I had a minor nervous breakdown. My mom was so nice about it and has already gone out and done some of the stuff I was worried about. Evan asked me for a list of the things I need him to do, so I don't have to worry about remembering to remind him. He was glad that I kind of blew up, because he could tell I felt better afterwards. How great is that? I have a guy who encourages me to blow up once in a while. :) I do feel better today.

Hey, another L.M. Montgomery survey topic, now that the other fans have spoken - which of her main characters do you think you're most like? I'm about equal parts Valancy and Anne, and a little bit of Jane. I don't relate much to Emily...she's too intense and driven for me to really understand her. She's very interesting, though.

Today is not going well at all. I started the day with a voicemail from a girl I've mentioned in passing before. She was in RUF with me for years, and I can't even begin to describe her, except that she's destructive and melodramatic, yet thinks everyone loves her. Last night at Bible study, I was talking about bridesmaid stuff with Alli, and this girl got quiet. When I got to work, she had left me a message saying that she was hurt that Alli was in the wedding and not her, because she and I are "so much closer". She said she felt she deserved an explanation or an apology! ?!?!!! The audacity. I was speechless. All I could do was let out a squeak that made my co-workers ask what was wrong. I still haven't responded. I'm tempted to ignore her completely and let her draw her own conclusions. Good grief.

Later, my mom called to suggest that we have the invitations printed at Kinko's tomorrow. I was completely relieved at the thought of not having to print them all myself, but when I went there to get a quote, they told me they can't do wedding invitations that aren't the size of a piece of paper. ??? When was the last time one of you got an 8.5" x 11" wedding invitation? Anyway, I went down the street to a real printer and got a quote from them. It's definitely more expensive than doing it myself, but my parents are going to discuss it. The lady said if I drop them off Monday, I'll have them on Friday. Then I can spent Friday night and Saturday addressing envelopes by myself, and mail them before going to Robin's wedding, which will be eight weeks from our wedding, still. But it's definitely not ideal. I am so, so mad at myself. I must be the stupidest bride in the world. How did I think I was going to print 160 invitations myself? And I might still be doing that. Why didn't I plan for this sooner? I'm sick and tired of worrying about wedding etiquette and what everyone is going to think or say. If people want to judge me based on the quality of my wedding stuff, that's their problem. There are MUCH more important things in the world, and I'd really like to get back to thinking about those things, instead of wasting two hours worrying about the appropriateness of return address labels. No wonder I feel so small-minded lately.

Meanwhile, at work, we're proofing things for the new database system. Proofing is awful. I have done ten items so far and I already want to tear my hair out. There's a bridal shower for my friend Cortney this afternoon, so that should brighten things up. Except that just now, someone asked me whether I had booked the right conference room, and I thought I hadn't and almost started crying. Thankfully, it was okay. Nice to know I did something right today. :P

If you read all that, you get a gold star. I'm sorry for being such a whiner. I do feel better now, though.

Hi. Earlier, I was panicking about wedding things, but I talked to my mom and now I feel better. It just gets overwhelming. I'm so thankful for my family. Most of the bridal party is busy, so it's basically me and my family doing everything. Evan hasn't been able to help much, either, since they schedule him to close the store all the time. He can't even go to our dinner/cake tasting on Saturday. :( We're shooting for printing and assembling all the invitations after the tasting, to be sent out next Saturday, but who knows if that'll be possible. As for the flowers, we still haven't decided whether to sign Libby or keep looking. We have decided to save by using (nice) fake flowers for all the decorations, which means that my mom and I will soon be buying and making 123898 fake flower arrangements. Yay.

Sometimes I'm ecstatic about being a bride. Sometimes I want to elope. It fluctuates every half hour or so. Lately I'm really frustrated with myself. I'm so oversensitive and selfish and wedding-absorbed. I'm almost always tired and sore. I don't exercise every day, which I need to be doing since I've apparently gained a few pounds. A lot of the planning is fun, but I anticipate it as work because it's just one more thing to do. When will I learn not to stress out? My faith is like a mustard seed.

Tonight a new Bible study is starting at IPC. It's about Christianity and popular culture. I love those kinds of studies. Which reminds me, I need to tape Joey. Who watched it last week? It was okay. It just seems weird to watch Joey without all the others.

The weather is wonderful today- partly cloudy, cool and breezy. Leaves are starting to appear on the ground. It's like fall is shouting, "Here I am!" I've never been so glad to see it. :)

I forgot to mention that our Sunday school class is starting an abbreviated version of the Crown Financial Series. Evan and I wanted to take it when it was offered to the church in general, but ironically, it cost $55. :P This time it's free. I'm really looking forward to it, since this is the area in which he and I probably need the most work. Last Sunday, as an intro, we talked a little about 401(k)s. I don't have a 401k for several reasons, the main one being that I'm quitting work in several years anyway (God willing). However, I do have a good savings account and save part of every paycheck. I'd always wondered how the heck most people could afford to save and contribute to retirement. Evan pointed out that two-thirds of Americans don't have a savings account. I couldn't believe that was true, but I started asking friends about it, and he seems to be right. I can't imagine not having savings to fall back on in an emergency. Then again, when we're all 75, my friends will be living large on their retirement millions and Evan and I will probably be forced to move back to a little apartment. Oh well. :)

My latest book recommendation is The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. I read the whole thing in two days. It's that good. I was so into it last night that I got way behind in my cleaning.

Monday is typically my cleaning and organizing night, and lately it's become stressful. I'm trying to figure out how my stuff and Evan's stuff will all fit together, but more than that, I want it to all be organized perfectly from the beginning. (Yes, I am Monica Geller.) Of course, this is a ridiculous goal and usually has me in tears by the time Evan comes over from work (around 8:30 pm). Last week he arrived to find me crying because I couldn't find a perfect place for a cassette tape case. He couldn't help but laugh, which was the best thing he could have done because then I laughed too. I think living with him will do me a lot of good. :) At the risk of being wasteful, I think we're going to get rid of a lot of old things once we get new things (like towels and kitchen stuff). There's just no room for all of it, and most of it is pretty decrepit anyway.

Speaking of old stuff, many of my dress shoes have decided to fall apart at the same time. My beautiful black Rampage heels, for which I get compliments every time I wear them, have broken straps. They're only a year old! :( I'll figure out some way to fix them, but in the meantime I can't wear them. Also, my Steve Madden wedge heels are starting to look run-down. What good does it do to buy more expensive shoes? I think a trip to Payless will be in order soon.

I have a good life. :)

The good thing about business meetings is that when they're over, you really appreciate having a whole day to get things done. It's much more relaxing. I need relaxation, because things keep getting me down today. Some are serious and some are stupid:

- Kathy called last night to tell me that the lady who does all her sewing (and altered my dress for MaryElaine's wedding) died suddenly on Wednesday of a massive heart attack. She was in her early fifties and in great health. This is the second such death I've heard of in the last month or so, and it makes me really nervous. It's shocking to be reminded that you are not too young to lose your parents. :(
- My department is hiring two more coordinators. Since the job posted, I've had several people come over and ask me if I'm leaving. :P With the new people, there will be equal numbers of coordinators and managers, which probably means that I won't be working for one of my bosses anymore. Will I be assigned? Will I have to choose? I don't know which is worse. I'm finally busy, comfortable, and content in my job, and I don't like this at all.
- Wedding planning is driving me crazy. The main goal of this month is to send the invitations, but that requires setting the menu for the reception. I have to figure out the whole flower situation (and probably make a million fake arrangements). I have to finish organizing the wedding slide show and burn it onto a CD for Kathy's mom. I have to figure out how we're going to get rid of all our excess furniture. Oh, and also, Hurricane Ivan is about to tear up our honeymoon location.
- I'm very worried about my Floridian friends and family.
- I'm in such bad shape. Evan and I ran a little on Wednesday night, and then I walked last night even though I was sore. Today my legs hurt. A Lot.
- I just heard that there's a free Tigers party tonight at Newby's and they're giving away 50 pairs of season tickets. Then Jump Little Children is giving a concert! But I'm already committed to going to another party tonight, and I have to go alone because Evan is working late. Also, I'm not going to the game tomorrow - I'm going with Ryan, Luke, and Myla to Goat Days. Don't get me wrong, I'm really pumped about Goat Days (there will be pictures later to help explain why), but I'm sad about missing the game. I feel like so much is going on this fall, and I'm totally missing it.

To make up for all this whining, here are two good things:
- Sunday is Evan's and my anniversary. One year ago, he unexpectedly held my hand on the couch, and in 79 days he'll be holding my hand at the altar. :)
- God is in control. All the time.

Happy, happy, happy belated birthday to Sharon! She's such a great person. If you don't know her, you should. Her sense of LOTR humor alone is enough reason to friend her. :)

Well, I'm alive. I feel bad for my lack of LJ participation lately, but I can barely keep up with my non-computer life. The frenetic activity of the last few weeks is finally catching up with me. I'm drinking caffeinated coffee, on the official hottest day of the year, because I thought I might not be able to stay awake without it. The allergies I've had for three weeks returned as soon as I got back from Virginia, and today my eyes hurt. I even brought my glasses to work in case I have to take my contacts out. Tonight there's no band practice- thanks, God- so I'm going to stay home, do laundry, be restful, and go to sleep around 9:00.

( My trip to Virginia )

As the girls know, I found a wedding dress yesterday! I won't describe it in case Evan sees this, but it's beautiful and I'm so happy with it. Also, we talked it over and we've pretty much decided to go with the Jamaican honeymoon! :D I'm so excited. This means we'll have to get passports soon, on top of everything else, but it's a good idea to have a valid passport anyway. I got my last one when I was fifteen, so needless to say it's out of date. In the picture I have Brooke Shields eyebrows and am wearing a tie-dyed shirt. Ouch.

So far I'm enjoying having the apartment to myself. After getting back from the dress shop on Monday, Kathy and I went through piles of papers and junk from the dining room and threw a lot of stuff away. We're sort of going room by room, and things are looking good. In other exciting news, I had a nice talk with my landlady yesterday and it turns out we're allowed to paint! To think I've lived with my blindingly white kitchen for three years and could have had some color. Evan and I are planning to paint it and the bathroom (the only white rooms). Now we just have to decide on a color. I think we'll probably do blue. It depends on what bathroom stuff we choose for our registry. The Mills Apartment will look very different from the Brenda and Kathy Apartment. :)

Oh, and remember my busybody neighbor who works with our friend MaryElaine? A few months ago she had the audacity to ask MaryElaine if Evan spent the night at my apartment? Well, now she's complained to her that Evan is over all the time and she's certain that we're living together. !!!! I should laugh it off, but I get really angry at being accused of things when I'm part of the 5% of the population not doing them. I should leave her a note: In 139 days we WILL be living together. Legally. Deal with it. Anyway, Jesus was accused of things and didn't protest, so this is another area in which I fail to follow His example.

Okay, I've talked long enough.

Apparently, many people on LJ are ready to shoot anyone who even mentions Friends, so I'll just say that I was sad but satisfied with the ending. And Joey looks funnier than I expected, from the commercial about it. "Hello, welcome to the news. I am Name."

I felt very cranky earlier but now I'm calmer. The next six or so weekends will be packed with wedding, birthday, and graduation events. The insanity begins. One current worry is that MaryElaine wanted Kathy, Em, and I to go to the lake with her over Memorial Day weekend. Since Em's bridal shower is that weekend, we cut it back to Sunday and Monday, and now we've concluded that we'll be too busy to go at all. We still haven't told her. I'm not looking forward to that. :( This weekend I need to go food shopping, exercise, go to the mall to get a skirt that's finally on clearance, take Debra to Hallmark so we can buy my mom's traditional Precious Moment, vacuum and Febreze my car, pack and store my winter clothes and unpack my summer clothes, and make and send bridal shower invitations. It's safe to say that some of these things won't get done. I hate it when things don't get done.

Today Debra's coming home for the summer! Also, since it's Mother's Day, there will be a lot of nice family time this weekend. Yay!

The Ace of Base song "Wheel of Fortune" is in my head and I have no idea how it got there. I haven't heard it in years.

Sorry for doing this meme, but Jessica made a poll out of it and it's a lot easier to take now. Feel free to skip. ( Me, me, me )

Happy happy birthday aardwolf and apestaartje!

Much happened this weekend. It kicked off with my and Kathy's Harry Potter adventure at the local Bookstar. We found out that they had 50 unclaimed copies, for which they'd be giving out tickets at 10:30. Just to be safe, we got there at 8:30 and set up camp.

Me: We're 23 years old. At the head of the Harry Potter line. Playing Uno with Spider-Man cards.
Kathy: We are such losers.
Me: Our dignity is gone.
Kathy: We had dignity?

So we happily claimed tickets 1 and 2, got our books by 12:30 am, and managed to read the first chapter at home before collapsing in exhaustion. We've been reading in three-chapter increments ever since, to discuss things thoroughly and to ensure that we don't get ahead of each other (we would be bound to give something away). I'm on Chapter 25. This is an annoying method, but it's good because I'm getting a lot out of the first reading. Besides, we're just going to want Book 6 as soon as we're finished, so why rush it? :)

On Saturday we went to Low's Bridal in Arkansas, and Kathy picked out her wedding dress. It is beautiful. I highly recommend Low's, because the salespeople are incredibly nice and really know what they're talking about. (I learned a lot about matching veils and headpieces to dresses, by the end of the morning.) In the evening, I had dinner at the Beauty Shop with several RUF girls of my era. Casey wasn't there, though, and I'd really wanted to see her, so I was kind of bummed. I ended up going home right afterwards, and spent the evening reading and talking to Evan on the phone.

Sunday I went to church (the sermon was excellent), went to lunch, got home, and flew into an unprovoked rage. I was suddenly stressed about everything. The laundry, the old clothes I needed to take to Goodwill, the three activities I was supposed to choose from for the evening (thereby making someone mad no matter what I did). I ended up skipping out of rawee1's party (I'm sorry, Robin) so I could stay home and relax and regain some serenity. :P I think it did some good, because I feel calmer and more refreshed today.

Maybe more later.