The Beauty and the Mess

Happy election day, fellow Americans! What an exciting day. I'm going to vote at lunchtime. This is only my second presidential election - I was seventeen in 1996 (which really irritated me!). Tonight Evan and Ryan and I are eating out as usual, and then I'll make a pumpkin pie for us to enjoy while we watch the results roll in. If there's another recount, I won't be one iota surprised. This morning on the radio they were explaining that in the event of a tie, it's possible that Bush will still be President, but Edwards will be VP. Isn't that weird? Anyway, Laura, I wish I was in Indiana so I could vote for Hostettler! I'm thinking of you today. :)

This past weekend was busy. On Friday night I went to the corn maze with a bunch of friends. At first it was fun, but toward the end we were lost, muddy, and tired...and suddenly I realized my cell phone wasn't in my pocket. I almost started crying right there among the costumed children and people with (fake) chain saws. Fortunately, Luke was with me and called the phone. Someone answered it and it wasn't far back from where we were. So that was a little miracle. :) Then we went to Chili's, and Myla and I had a great talk about politics that made me feel much more secure in my opinions. I have great friends.

Saturday was full of wedding stuff and then we went to Robin's Halloween party. I went as a butterfly, with blue posterboard wings that I had painted. Evan decided to be a butterfly, too, but his "costume" consisted of a T-shirt on which he had written, "I am a butterfly." Everyone liked his costume better. Talk about unfair! He was cuter, though. :) On Sunday I had some sort of physical breakdown. I haven't felt like myself for a few days - very run-down, achy, and overemotional - and in the middle of playing congregational music, I got really shaky and started feeling awful. I was so hungry. We met my parents for lunch at Olive Garden, which helped, and then I took a two-hour nap. It was a good thing, because later we went back to church to work at our church's Halloween alternative, the Festival of Melons and Gourds, and I spent an hour kneeling over and over to pick up little Frisbees. It was fun (and some of the kids were so cute!), but I was worn out all over again by the time we left. Evan worked the booth next to mine, and I loved watching him kneel down to help the little kids with their game. He's going to be a good dad someday. :) Anyway, I'm still not feeling so great. I have twenty-five days to get back to 100%.

God is really providing for us, and it looks like we'll be able to pay for Evan's spring semester of school without too much trouble. We keep getting checks in the mail and have no idea why: U of M apparently sent a check for $100 to me at my parents' house; Evan got some "back pay" from FedEx, which he left a year and a half ago; my church paid for the repairs that my flute needed. I feel very cared for. So he's going to go to community college this first semester back, and hopefully by then the FAFSA will have taken effect and we can get enough aid to send him to U of M. Maybe this will all work out after all. :) Yay God!

I mentioned yesterday that I wanted to talk about education. So here goes.

I bring this up because there have recently been some alarming changes at my brother's high school. Some of you might know that Memphis (and Tennessee in general) has one of the worst public school systems in the country. It started to decline during my school years, but in the seven years I have been a graduate, it's gotten shockingly worse. I'm not just talking about the lack of education, which is terrible. I'm also talking about the way students are treated. Discipline problems are so bad that they can't let the kids have a semblance of a personality. They have to act like little robots. (Hey, looking at what I said yesterday, maybe there's more to this than I thought.) Just sit still, stay quiet, and don't have any interaction.

Well, now they're cutting back on lunchtime, which is the only opportunity all day for the kids to be social. When I was in high school, there were four lunches of twenty minutes each, the first of which was at 10:30 am. I thought this was awful enough. Now they're adding a fifth lunch and cutting them all to fifteen minutes. You can't even get through the lunch line in fifteen minutes. Also, after I graduated high school, the board raised the breaks between classes to seven minutes. This made it possible for kids to actually go to their lockers. Now they've cut it back again to five minutes. You can get to class in five minutes if you're really good at dodging and weaving. The bottom line is, students have to carry all their books at all times. They don't get any time for human interaction. They can't even go to the bathroom. My brother's conduct grades are suffering because he keeps having to be excused to take care of these things. I am very, very angry about all this, and I have decided for sure that my future children are NOT going to public school. I don't care if I have to take out a loan to pay for their private school. I'm not putting them through this.

admael, I'm curious to hear your opinions on these subjects. I know your school is one of the better ones, but I can't believe you haven't complained about these things.

Anyway, out of curiosity I made a poll for those of you who went to public high school. I want to know what everyone's experiences were like. ( Saved by the bell )

Oh, and happy birthday, nikichick4! You're awesome and I hope you have a great day. And happy Ides of January, everyone.

Spring has temporarily disappeared. It's irritating. But I won't talk about it, since I know some of you have snow on the ground. :)

Tonic will be playing at Newby's tomorrow night. The tickets are only ten dollars. I just found out about it on Sunday, and I really want to go. But I have church band practice, and the director would probably be mad if I skipped, especially since I joined the band late. Why, oh why, does the show have to be on a Wednesday? :( I want to continue playing in the band after Easter, but the Jean Larroux Bible study is supposed to start up again in late May, and the thought of never attending it makes me sad. I'm not sure what to do about that.

I received a monkey, complete with palm tree, in the mail the other day from sominfun. I also got a nice letter from mickey24sync. I love fun mail days.

My sister has three weeks to decide where she'll be going to college. She's torn between two schools- one in Nashville and one in Oklahoma City. Up to this point, she's preferred Nashville, but her friend/prospective roommate just announced that she's going to the OK City school, so Debra is rethinking everything. OK City is also cheaper and is pursuing her more actively. I wish she would go to Nashville, because my mother has implied that she won't be able to afford to fly Debra home from Oklahoma and I may never see her again if she goes there. How uplifting.

Sometimes I feel bad that I went to college at Memphis. The fact that I could have gone to a "better" school always nags at me. I didn't have much choice, since I didn't want to leave town, but people have such disdain for U of M. In the end, I think just having a degree matters more than where you got it, but people (including your own family) scoffing at your school and referring to it as "Tiger High" never boosts your self-esteem. :P Anyone have any thoughts on the importance of a Big Name school?

I mentioned a long time ago that a new movie theater/entertainment complex is being built nearby. It's almost finished now! My mom mentioned it to me this weekend...because she thought it would be "a good place to meet someone." Great. Because that's the kind of person I want to end up with- some random guy I met at a movie theater. Should I really be that desperate? Good grief. Some mothers would be proud to have a daughter with standards. Mine just wants me to hang around waiting to get hit on. The older I get, the more my life resembles the comic strip Cathy. Frightening.

Lately I have been wondering how hard it would be for me to finish my geography degree. (I minored in geography, in case I haven't mentioned it before.) I spent this morning looking at the online catalog, and if I've worked everything out correctly, I am only 4 classes away from a second degree. I think this is pretty exciting, but there are arguments against going for it.

1- My company pays for further education, but only classes that have something to do with your job. I could argue that I do use geography in my job, but I don't think they'd buy it. So I'd have to pay for everything myself. I have never had to pay for school before, and I'm not sure if I can afford it.

2- Obviously I'd have to go to night class. Some of these courses might not even have a night session. And, in general, I think working all day and then going to class would suck. Lawson, I don't know how you keep doing it.

3- (and most important) It would be a completely useless degree, valuable only to me. However, when I was in high school, I always said I would get a degree that would get me a job, and then get a degree in something I actually liked. So I'd be keeping my word to myself. :P

I don't know.

Yes, I promised a "real" post. Unfortunately, I don't have anything "real" to say. It's been a long day. We had a party for one of my co-workers, who is getting her degree after working full-time and going to school for six years. We're all very proud of her.

I'm thinking again about grad school. Sort of. When I graduated, I had finally had it with school, but lately I've missed learning and reading and saying "I can't, I have a class," which can be either a blessed excuse or a sad proclamation. :) I think my recent literary plot fixations are just my brain's way of saying that it needs some exercise. I would like to have something to think about again.

However, my non-work life is already pretty full. It's taken me this long just to figure out where I can squeeze some volunteer work in. I don't like the idea of sitting here all day, then having to go to class all night (hi, Lawson). Plus, my company will only pay for classes if they are related to my job. And since I am interested in programs like graphic design and writing and language, not Hotel and Motel Management, I cannot afford to go.

See, I told you I didn't have anything real to say. :P So I'll let you discuss. For those of you who have thought about college/grad school, do you have plans to go soon? What do you want to do? For those of you who are in grad school, what are you learning? Is it worth it?

I noticed the other day that the stores have already put out back to school stuff. When I was younger, back to school was my favorite time of the year. I loved new clothes, new classes, new pens, and new notebooks. Most of all, I loved the feeling of possibility. Every year was a new beginning. You never knew what could happen. But I don't get those fresh starts anymore, and change is not so fun or exciting. Just scary.

On that happy note, :) I've been reading my Esther book. It's wonderful! I want to be like Esther, but I have a million miles to go. But God is always at work in me. So with each passing year, He will refine me more and more. That encourages me. I am so thankful that I became a Christian at a young age, because God needs all the time He can get to work on me. :) (Of course I know God's not limited by time, but you know what I mean.)

Last night my family and I had cake, as planned, and they took Bun home with them. As soon as they left, we went into a flurry of cleaning (or, as Kathy called it, "the humans reclaiming the apartment"). Within an hour, everything looked great. :) My mom paid us 50 bucks for keeping Bun, so we have big plans. We're going to go to dinner, and then buy a DVD, and spend the rest of the money on berries! :) Oh, and Lawson, I can bring cake to you tomorrow if you'd like some. :)