The Beauty and the Mess

Nine days! We're in single digits!!! :D

I am so keyed up and full of thoughts that I could probably write here all day. I keep thinking of topics to write about. But I don't have time for that, and neither do you. :) People keep asking me, "So, is everything taken care of?" and I really don't know. I'm printing out the programs a few at a time, and we're going to hole-punch and ribbon-tie them on Friday night after my bachelorette party. My mom is still working on the table centerpieces and has rented a unity candle stand. I need to make the pen for our guestbook; I bought a nice black gel pen and a fake rose, and I'll use floral tape to make a flower pen. (Maybe two just in case.) I need to pack for our honeymoon, and I need to finalize who's taking care of Gandalf. I have a manicure/pedicure appointment. I have the presents for my bridesmaids (which I need to wrap, and write cards for). What am I forgetting? Help!

One thing on my agenda, after we come home as Mr. and Mrs. :), will be figuring out ways for me to make money on the side. We got our car insurance quote yesterday, and it wasn't as bad as they had told us - it was worse. The important thing is that we'll still be in the black, but not far enough for my taste. I've been hoping for some sort of upward mobility at work and have been working toward that end, but the signs aren't great. So I need to think of other opportunities in case we get into a pinch. A couple of my friends in the church band play Christmas and Easter programs at other churches and get paid for it. Maybe I'll ask them about that. Right now I don't think I'm good enough to be hired as a professional, but maybe I could be if I practiced more.

Tonight there's an early Thanksgiving dinner with our Thursday night Bible study. It will be fun. I made another pumpkin pie for it, this one from a recipe in one of my new cookbooks. Oh, you know that Southern Living cookbook I was so excited about? It should be called the Weight Gain Cookbook. Seriously. I was reading it last night while Evan watched TV, and the recipes looked so good, but then I'd look at the ingredients and plotz. It was like, "Ooo, look at this shrimp linguine...Two cups of heavy cream?! One cup of butter?!?" It's like that Cooking Light Magazine, which always has something totally unhealthy on the cover, usually involving cheese and bacon. Meanies.

I could go on, but I need to work now. :)

Bad me: I just went to Target and spent $45, with my check card, because I don't have any more cash. :( The past month or so, I've been breaking envelope-system rules right and left. But I'm trying to stock up on the little things I need, like film and hair clippies, before the wedding. That way we should be okay for a while. Evan finally got a car insurance quote yesterday and it was pretty upsetting. However, this morning the guy called him back, and it turns out they were factoring in accidents the car had had before Evan bought it. Duh! So it should be slightly better, but still more than we were expecting. A lot of it is because of where we live. When I moved to my apartment from my parents' nice suburban house, my insurance bill doubled. (Of course, a year later my parked car was plowed into by a drunk driver, thus proving their point.) But if we lived in the suburbs we'd be paying way more in rent and gas, so it all comes out in the wash. Sigh.

Anyway, Target finally has those twenty-roll gift wrap holders. I've been waiting all year to get one. Tossing the gift wrap into Kathy's old closet isn't going to cut it anymore. :) Yay for organization. The other night, in a teasing attempt to woo me, Evan said, "I want to alphabetize something with you." Swoon!

Last night I dreamed that I went to visit Jen and Jason! Jen was really uncomfortable because of the baby, and we were trying to think of something to eat that would make her feel better. That's all I remember. :)

Tonight is our last premarital counseling session. We will give Robert our marriage license and he'll hold on to it for us. Yay! I may not have mentioned it, but one of my co-workers is also getting married, this Saturday. So it's all about the weddings around here. That reminds me, there's a bridal store in Germantown called All About Weddings. I never went to it, but I thought that was an interesting name for a store.

I've finally reached Anne's House of Dreams. I read the first few chapters last night in the living room while the guys were playing Halo, and almost started crying sappy tears right in the middle of their gunfire.

Has anyone read those Tara vs. Sarah columns on MSNBC? They're hilarious. Like a cross between Entertainment Weekly and the old "Even Stevens" segment from the Daily Show.

This time next week, I'll be off of work and at the church telling them where I want the fake trees to go. :D Woo hoo!

Well, that's over. :D

My mom told me this past weekend that Evan looks like Mark-Paul Gosselaar. In four years I have never noticed that, but it's kind of true. When I mentioned it to him, he says he hears that at least once a week at work. There's proof that you never stop learning about people. How a Screechette like me is getting to marry a studly Zack Morris like him is beyond my understanding. :) We have our second premarital counseling session tonight. He called earlier to ask me what time we were going to "therapy." LOL! Anyway, Robert asked us to prepare a monthly budget, which we did last night. It turned out better than I expected. The funniest part was, at first I only factored in one paycheck (I get paid biweekly) and was practically crying because we were broke before I even got to the grocery column. Then I realized what I had done. Boy, did life look better after that!

The pumpkin pie was a success. I used the recipe off the back of the Kroger canned pumpkin can - anyone have any other tried and true recipes? I'm already looking forward to having more tonight. Hey, it's full of vitamins and stuff.

At lunchtime I went to the mall to get some things for certain people in the wedding. :) I like buying fun presents. This weekend I need to find an Xbox for Evan - it's his combination birthday, wedding, and Christmas present. Oh, and Halo, because there's no point in him having the Xbox otherwise. He's so excited! His birthday is next week. I want to find something else for him as a surprise. He already knows about the other stuff. :)

I am officially addicted to Smallville. The other night they aired what I'm told was the season-one finale, with the tornado, and I just sat there stunned for five minutes after it was over. Oh well...I guess something needed to take the place of Friends.

Happy election day, fellow Americans! What an exciting day. I'm going to vote at lunchtime. This is only my second presidential election - I was seventeen in 1996 (which really irritated me!). Tonight Evan and Ryan and I are eating out as usual, and then I'll make a pumpkin pie for us to enjoy while we watch the results roll in. If there's another recount, I won't be one iota surprised. This morning on the radio they were explaining that in the event of a tie, it's possible that Bush will still be President, but Edwards will be VP. Isn't that weird? Anyway, Laura, I wish I was in Indiana so I could vote for Hostettler! I'm thinking of you today. :)

This past weekend was busy. On Friday night I went to the corn maze with a bunch of friends. At first it was fun, but toward the end we were lost, muddy, and tired...and suddenly I realized my cell phone wasn't in my pocket. I almost started crying right there among the costumed children and people with (fake) chain saws. Fortunately, Luke was with me and called the phone. Someone answered it and it wasn't far back from where we were. So that was a little miracle. :) Then we went to Chili's, and Myla and I had a great talk about politics that made me feel much more secure in my opinions. I have great friends.

Saturday was full of wedding stuff and then we went to Robin's Halloween party. I went as a butterfly, with blue posterboard wings that I had painted. Evan decided to be a butterfly, too, but his "costume" consisted of a T-shirt on which he had written, "I am a butterfly." Everyone liked his costume better. Talk about unfair! He was cuter, though. :) On Sunday I had some sort of physical breakdown. I haven't felt like myself for a few days - very run-down, achy, and overemotional - and in the middle of playing congregational music, I got really shaky and started feeling awful. I was so hungry. We met my parents for lunch at Olive Garden, which helped, and then I took a two-hour nap. It was a good thing, because later we went back to church to work at our church's Halloween alternative, the Festival of Melons and Gourds, and I spent an hour kneeling over and over to pick up little Frisbees. It was fun (and some of the kids were so cute!), but I was worn out all over again by the time we left. Evan worked the booth next to mine, and I loved watching him kneel down to help the little kids with their game. He's going to be a good dad someday. :) Anyway, I'm still not feeling so great. I have twenty-five days to get back to 100%.

God is really providing for us, and it looks like we'll be able to pay for Evan's spring semester of school without too much trouble. We keep getting checks in the mail and have no idea why: U of M apparently sent a check for $100 to me at my parents' house; Evan got some "back pay" from FedEx, which he left a year and a half ago; my church paid for the repairs that my flute needed. I feel very cared for. So he's going to go to community college this first semester back, and hopefully by then the FAFSA will have taken effect and we can get enough aid to send him to U of M. Maybe this will all work out after all. :) Yay God!

The weather is wonderful today- partly cloudy, cool and breezy. Leaves are starting to appear on the ground. It's like fall is shouting, "Here I am!" I've never been so glad to see it. :)

I forgot to mention that our Sunday school class is starting an abbreviated version of the Crown Financial Series. Evan and I wanted to take it when it was offered to the church in general, but ironically, it cost $55. :P This time it's free. I'm really looking forward to it, since this is the area in which he and I probably need the most work. Last Sunday, as an intro, we talked a little about 401(k)s. I don't have a 401k for several reasons, the main one being that I'm quitting work in several years anyway (God willing). However, I do have a good savings account and save part of every paycheck. I'd always wondered how the heck most people could afford to save and contribute to retirement. Evan pointed out that two-thirds of Americans don't have a savings account. I couldn't believe that was true, but I started asking friends about it, and he seems to be right. I can't imagine not having savings to fall back on in an emergency. Then again, when we're all 75, my friends will be living large on their retirement millions and Evan and I will probably be forced to move back to a little apartment. Oh well. :)

My latest book recommendation is The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. I read the whole thing in two days. It's that good. I was so into it last night that I got way behind in my cleaning.

Monday is typically my cleaning and organizing night, and lately it's become stressful. I'm trying to figure out how my stuff and Evan's stuff will all fit together, but more than that, I want it to all be organized perfectly from the beginning. (Yes, I am Monica Geller.) Of course, this is a ridiculous goal and usually has me in tears by the time Evan comes over from work (around 8:30 pm). Last week he arrived to find me crying because I couldn't find a perfect place for a cassette tape case. He couldn't help but laugh, which was the best thing he could have done because then I laughed too. I think living with him will do me a lot of good. :) At the risk of being wasteful, I think we're going to get rid of a lot of old things once we get new things (like towels and kitchen stuff). There's just no room for all of it, and most of it is pretty decrepit anyway.

Speaking of old stuff, many of my dress shoes have decided to fall apart at the same time. My beautiful black Rampage heels, for which I get compliments every time I wear them, have broken straps. They're only a year old! :( I'll figure out some way to fix them, but in the meantime I can't wear them. Also, my Steve Madden wedge heels are starting to look run-down. What good does it do to buy more expensive shoes? I think a trip to Payless will be in order soon.

I have a good life. :)

Here are some of my pictures from Emily's wedding! Evan took most of the ceremony ones, so send any compliments or complaints his way. :)

Last night Evan and I hung out with Casey and had a great time. As it sinks in more and more that we're really getting married, I worry more and more about finances. As usual, Casey had wise words to say on that topic. She reminded me that we'll be taking vows for richer or poorer, and that's a sign that money will always be an issue. If we had a lot of money, we'd still be struggling about how to spend it wisely. What's important is the marriage. I really needed to hear that. Also, after talking with her, we decided to scale down our honeymoon. We've really wanted to go to Hawaii, but with the rates I'm looking at, it would cost me half my savings. So we're reorganizing our priorities in order to afford more important things (more on that tomorrow!) and will probably just drive down to the Gulf Coast or something. I feel relieved now that we've made that decision.

Today I'm leaving work early and we're going with my parents to check out a nearby country club. My dad has heard nothing but good things about it. If all goes well, we'll go ahead and book it for the reception. We don't have time for hall-shopping or lists of pros and cons. :P I'm so thankful for my parents; they're being very generous. I am also thankful to the authors of Bridal Bargains, from whom I have already learned a lot.

I am still completely undecided on bridesmaid colors and flowers.

( I finally got this best friend generator to work! )

Oh, and happy birthday Jeremy! :D And happy fiscal new year to everyone else. Especially the accountants.

It's a pretty good day - one of those days when I like my job. I had a problem earlier with a hotel opening, and my boss stepped in and expertly took care of the situation. Now I know I need to be more forceful with these people. Also, we had a fun lunch at Huey's today, and I got to ride in Helen's new car and discuss work things with her. I'll be sad when she moves in a couple of weeks!

I'm debating buying a new CD walkman. I have two cheap ones- one for walking and one for the car (I mistakenly thought one of them was dead and bought another). But I used to have a nice radio tuner/CD player for walking, which really did stop working. Now that I'm walking so much, I'm getting sick of my CDs. Radio would be helpful if only for variety. I just received some unexpected money and I'm trying to decide whether to spend it on this, or something else, or save it.

You know, tithing is really important. God promises in Malachi to bless us if we tithe and even says, "Test me in this." I've been giving a little more at church lately, which has made me nervous, but somehow my needs are still more than provided for. I know it's not a coincidence. :)

Tonight I'm turning down two potentially beneficial events to sit at home with the guys and watch American Idol. I feel guilty.

My Caedmon's Call Chronicles CD finally came in the mail yesterday. I ordered it three weeks ago. Yay!

This "Life Soundtrack" thing was going around a while ago, so I saved it and have been working on it over time. It's finally done. I altered the options a little bit because some of them were repetitive, and some seemed like they should be included but weren't. Have fun! ( The music in the background )

One-line e-mail exchanges:

Me: My raise just went through! Yaaaay! Now I can afford to buy milk! :D
Kathy: lol! Yaay! I like milk! :)
Me: I get $30 extra a paycheck!! So we could even get TWO gallons of milk!
Kathy: wooah - lets not get TOO crazy now! We'd hate to blow your entire raise on milk!!

Also, she just announced she will be defending her thesis in a month or so and will then be Master Kathy! So lots of good news today. Anyone have anything else? :)

I'm so frustrated with myself right now. In this week alone, I have spent $30 on "impulse buys." Last week I spent $30 on scrapbooking supplies, which was not unnecessary, but maybe I should have gone without. I just went to Target and saw that two pajama tank tops, which I had passed over several times before because of the expense, were on clearance. So I bought them. It was $11 total, and I knew I'd regret it later if I didn't get them, but I feel like a criminal. My pastor's voice saying "We need to cut out impulse spending" was ringing in my ears. The ironic thing is, I have been slightly more conservative in spending on myself, but spending on other people is still in full swing. Even so, I feel guilty that I can't do more for the people I care about. Evan's birthday is coming up and I wish I could shower him with presents, but I can't afford to. People constantly ask me to contribute to this charity or that fundraiser, and I feel bad because I can't help them all. Christmas is coming. Then I'll have two weddings to buy things for. After that, who knows. The only thing that I can afford to cut from my budget is myself. Maybe that's why I feel so sinful for buying two tank tops that were not absolutely necessary.

This week I realized that a lot of my poor decisions would be eliminated if I just changed my mindset. For instance, my habit of allowing myself one Coke every day, or eating some sort of dessert every evening. If I stopped thinking that I was somehow entitled to those things, it wouldn't be so hard to cut back. I've gotten soft. I want to live a holy life that is practical and responsible and honors God. I'm doing a poor job.

Maria mentioned FlyLady the other day. It's a cool system and I want to join, but after reading the daily schedule, I decided there's no way a working woman can do it. I long for the day when I can leave the corporate world and work in my home. I don't want to work in hotel franchising for the rest of my life. There, I said it. More and more of my college friends are starting grad school. In a few years they'll be Masters and Dr.s. I have a B.A. Woo. I feel uneducated. What else is new?

On a positive note, I was really touched this morning while reading my e-mail and friends page. It seems like many people around here are going through rough times right now, but it's so beautiful to me to see everyone supporting and helping one another. I'm blessed to know such Godly women and to get to read about your thoughts and lives each day. (Guys, you're cool too.) I wish I could go on an LJ Tour of the country and meet each of you. Seriously. You're wonderful.

Well, I took Gandalf to the vet today for his second set of shots. He absolutely screamed. I felt so bad. My boss brought the other three kittens to get their shots at the same time, and they hardly made a sound. But no, Gandalf has to be dramatic. :) I am looking forward to getting home, so I can make sure he's doing okay. In other pet news, the bunny in For Better or for Worse is dying. I am sad about this. Any loss of a bunny upsets me, even if it only exists on paper. I've always thought about becoming a vet, but now I am sure I couldn't do it. I am far too easily traumatized by animal suffering. Better to stick to the filing. :)

This weekend should be fun. Tomorrow my mom is taking me shopping (!), and then our whole gang is going to a late showing of Harry Potter. If we don't make any plans for tonight, I will probably watch the first one again just to get caught up, cinematically. :)

I want my tax refund. The IRS lady said a month ago that it was coming. I was hoping to get my digital camera by Thanksgiving so I could take fun pictures in Smithville, but I guess I won't be able to now. I could just go ahead and buy it, but I already bought my coat with money "on loan" from my refund. So if it doesn't come at all, I'll be in enough trouble for that. :P

Gosh, I sound depressed! I'm really not. I just want out of here! :)